Let Your Hair Or Something Down
by nat13cat
Summary: Barris is tired of the rules. She wants to have fun if only for one night. Cody just so happens to be at the club. And her rigid code ordered world falls to shambles.
1. Chapter 1

Hey all, this is my first Barris Cody. Please review and give me ideas for a second chapter! (I give credit to Payment in Kind by Citizenjess for anakin's umm…. New job)

Being a Padawan was harsh. Constantly fighting, constantly traveling, and then fighting again. All the while you were learning about the philosophies of the universe from Yoda who couldn't seem to take the time to string together a grammatically correct sentence. Normally Barris Offee would never dare think such thoughts about the revered Jedi master. Tonight was different. She was tired and bruised and sore and had a blaster hole in her lower arm. She was not in the mood to deal with her best friend's pretentious master Anakin Skywalker. Her master was not here at the moment having been shipped off to some other important battle somewhere in the outer rim.

"Not that she would be any better," Barris mumbled to herself as she slinked off the ship. It was easy with Skywalker making such a big entrance and nodding to the waiting senator. Ahsoka had told her… things about Anakin's relationship with Padmae. Ahsoka had been so happy for her master. Barris had been horrified.

"Jedi don't have attachments Ahsoka. It's not what they do," she had said back when rules mattered more to her than anything. They still did she told herself as she clunked through the Jedi temple. It's just now I'm so tired, they don't really seem to.

"Well maybe it was a mixture of compassion and attraction," and her large blue eyes wrinkled in concentration. "That would explain it and sky guy wouldn't be breaking any rules," then she let out a laugh which surprised Barris. "Not that Master Skywalker ever follows the rules."

Always back to the rules. That was Barris's blood. They were her heart and her driving force.

She hated them today.

Her mat looked so comfortable.

"Barris," someone whispered sweetly. The padawans eyes flickered and closed again.

"Barris," someone said a little louder and less sing-song-y.

"Barris!" Ahsoka's voice shouted and set the poor girl to sitting bolt upright in panic.

"Is there an attack?" Barris was saying as she began pulling on various articles of clothing.

"No silly!" Ashoka said. Her eyes were wide and her face was flushed with excitement. Oh no… "Yesterday you were complaining about how much the rules were getting to you, which is very unlike you I might add," Barris groaned and flopped back on her pillow. "So I was thinking we should go out tonight. Break a few of those rules. Like let our hair down you know?" The first thing that came to Barris's foggy mind would embarrass her the rest of the night.

"Ahsoka, you don't even have hair," she said and rolled onto her stomach so her voice was muffled. '

"You get my point!" She said with an exasperated sigh. "Now get up," Barris moaned. "Yes!" Ahsoka said and began tugging on the arm of what felt like a dead body.

"Mauuuuuuuu," Barris moaned and flopped back down. Then her nightmare came rushing back.

"MASTER!" she shouted as Luminara disappeared in a sea of droids and Ventress. "MASTER!" she shouted again and tried to force herself into the throng. Then Yoda was there and telling her in his backwards words.

"Lost, Master Luminara is. Not allowed to go get he you are. To all of us great loss this is," still she screamed and pushed against the metal bodies.

Suddenly breaking rules seemed like a really good idea. Barris reached up and pulled her cloak off her head. Her purple hair sprayed down around her shoulders and she smiled at Ahsoka.

"I'm going to need to borrow some clothes."

Half an hour and a lot of squeezing and laughing later, Ahsoka and Barris were headed to a club Ahsoka had been to before, with her master of course. That's what she told Barris at least. What she hadn't told Barris was that some clones were going to be there.

The lights looked intoxicating from outside. The music was so loud you could feel it in the soles of your feet. It was a massive club with neon lights and bared windows. There were a few occupied seats on the patio inside the small fence. They flowed right into twin open bars. Drinking. That sounded good right now. She hoped.

"Ya ready?" Ahsoka asked with a blue eyed grin.

"Of course," Barris replied. NOT! She added that in her head. Ahsoka might be comfortable prancing around in a two inch skirt and a bra all the time but Barris was not. Barris also had more to stuff into that bra.

The door opened and Barris broke the rules. She looked at the man dancing at the pole, and then the woman at the other one. More people like them were scattered throughout the crowd.

"Who are they?" She asked with emphasis on the last word. Ahsoka just smiled. "This place is owned by Zero isn't it? Isn't it!" Barris shouted over the music. Ahsoka just laughed and they squirmed their way through the crowd. She didn't really like the looks some of those men gave her. Especially one in the cage. "Your master took you here?" she asks and grabs Ahsokas shoulder. She looks a little sheepish.

"Well…"

"Ahsoka," Barris says in her no nonsense voice. The culprit sighs. "Okay, once I followed Sky Guy here. Then I snuck in and it was just so much fun! I mean I avoid the cages because… well never mind. It might give you nightmares. Sure gave me some," she shivers then grins wickedly. "Though I come here for the clones." Barris only has milliseconds to comprehend what is said before she meets them.

"Hey kid," says one recognizable blond head. He wears his characteristic smirk. Commander Rex. Ahsoka sticks her tongue out at him. His eyes flicker to Barris. Surprisingly he doesn't look down and up again. "Whose this?"

"Oh just a friend," she laughs. Barris can't believe they don't recognize her. My hair is covering one eye, she tells herself. And I happen to not be wearing very much fabric, just one of Ahsoka's tops and an underskirt with some leggings. She feels like one of those women dancing on the platform.

"One hell of a friend," says Commander Cody. Those words register in Barris's mind and she whips around to see him. Commander Cody. Why was he here? Did Ahsoka want her to rebuke the Jedi ways? Did she want her to run away with the stunning commander? All the clones did look the same. But on the inside they were all different. Cody was her favorite. Her absolute favorite. That was putting it in the least attatchmental of terms. Really, you could say she had a crush on him. A huge crush.

Their eyes meet for just a moment and Barris knows he recognized her from the second he saw her and just isn't letting Rex in on it. Why wouldn't he tell his best friend? Is he, as Ahsoka would say, covering for her? Why would he do something like that?

"Oh?" is all she can manage to say. Stupid, stupid, stupid, she tells herself and looks into his deep eyes that never settle on one color. You might call them gray, or brown, or blue on some planets. In the jungle they had been green. Most of the time they were an indescribable color in-between purple, blue, brown, and gray. Shifting like the leaves in a restless wind.

"One I definitely need to get to know better," Rex laughs and slaps his brother on the back. "You go for it," he says with a smirk. I catch a wiff of alcohol on his breath. That's why he is acting so unprofessional, like grinding with a fourteen year old padawan without any hair. I don't really blame him. The captain suffered heavy losses last battle. She doesn't know how she would stand it, losing thousands of brothers and then getting a week on leave without them around to enjoy it. Cody is losing his smirk it keeps shifting into flashes of concern and worry. Once it went to anger as he towed her through the crowd. This time she didn't make eye contact with the man in the cage who looked just a little too familiar…

The night air was pleasantly cool and soft compared to the heat and tension inside the club. The commander sat her down at a table far from the other couples and waved off the waitress droid. His smirk was totally erased now.

"What are you doing here?" he hisses at her. She blinks at him.

"What are you doing here?" she shoots right back. _I'm getting more like Ahsoka by the minute._ The commander sighs and looks over her shoulder.

"I'm here with Rex. Sometimes he can't take it," he rubs his hand through his army cut hair, stretching his faded tattoos. "Sometimes I can't take it." Barris is embarrassed by her own reason now. She looks at the table and tries to hide her chest self-consciously.

"I want to break some rules," she says. After a few seconds she looks up and Cody is staring at her. Not unkindly, but still staring.

"We all want to sometimes," there is a long awkward pause. Cody grunts and moves his hair again. Barris coughs. Finally she breaks the silence.

"How did you recognize me commander?" Barris asks formally and holds his eyes with hers so he can't lie.

"I didn't for a second. Then I saw the blaster wound…" he gestures to her arm where a bacta patch lies.

"You knew I got shot?" she asks with suprise and it is her turn to politely shoo away the waitress droid. He blushes a little.

"Of course I did General," Barris goes dark green.

"Oh," then they just look at each-other's eyes. Barris is trying to decide what color Cody's are today. They don't notice their elbows sliding closer together. Soon they feel each breath on their lips. Cody's is minty like the regulation toothpaste from the dispensers aboard the cruisers. Barris has always loved mint. She wonders what it would taste like in someone else's mouth. They realize what they are about to do at the same time. Two chairs topple back onto the fake stone as the stand up like there was a blaster shot. They throw apologies at each other and pick up the chairs. Then they just stand there. A lot of awkward silences in this meeting. He then offers his arm.

"Should we return to the temple General?" Barris nods and takes his arm gingerly. Then he pulls her threw the club back to Rex and Ahsoka. Their lips are mashed together. Barris looks away as Cody talks to Rex. Of course her eyes stray to the man with his tongue on the bars of the cage. His eyes are such a familiar blue and that scar…

It's General Skywalker.

Blast it to a million pieces.

He is a cage dancer.

At least he's wearing a… something down there.

"Let's go Barris," Cody says and she starts at the use of her first name. He is normally so formal. The look on his face tells her something is wrong so she goes with him with no complaint. The lift ride is silent. The journey to Barris's room is silent. They wait outside the door. They look into each other's eyes.

"Good night Commander," she says with a nod.

"And you General," he nods. Then they stand there some more. "Is something wrong?" he asks. Barris just winces a little and makes a gross face. Then Cody laughs.

"You saw Skywalker," he is still laughing. It such a wonderful laugh filled with life. One she rarely hears. It's so contagious. She is snickering too.

"I'm going to have nightmares,"

"I bet," he says and leans on the wall. He wipes away his tears. Then his voice gets husky. "Would you like some company," Barris is flustered. She looks back and forth, not wanting to lie. So she leans towards Cody. He understands immediately and pulls her to him in a rush of passion they kiss. It's wild and insane, her hands fuss his hair. His hands are on her back and they pulsate together. They pull away and their eyes are wild.

"Amazing," Barris says. Then they step back.

"Good night Commander," she says with a nod.

"And you General," he nods. Then they fling themselves at each other again.


	2. Chapter 2

_This chapter is extremly short. it's sorta a filler chapter. ive had writers block sorry it took so long_

It didn't seem so amazing this morning. Cody had left after their third kiss and she found herself missing him as she laid there in the slowly rising sun. It wasn't so amazing because now Bariss was actually _thinking_ about what she had done. It was all her fault. She would never put any blame on the commander. Right now she was coming up with a story if she was interrogated. Well first she would say she went to the bar with a friend outside the order so Ahsoka wouldn't get in trouble. Then she would talk about how she had borrowed some clothes from this 'friend'. She had seduced the commander into coming back to her quarters and he didn't recognize her because of the clothes. He had been so enthralled that he didn't notice where they were.

Bariss laughed at the ridiculous story she created. Seduced? She could barely hold a conversation with him. Before and after the kisses…

"Ahhhh!" she screamed and mashed her pillow together before rolling over. Now her eyelids were dark instead of that see-through red they had been before. The color reminded her too much of clone blood.

"I HATE THIS!" She shouted into her pillow. It came out more like "IV LATE VIS!"

The rules didn't seem so horrid this morning. Most of her soreness was gone, the wound had healed, and she had great dreams last night. Remarkable actually. Laws actually seemed almost as they normally did. The perfect scaffolding for life. The only ones that were nipping at her were the attachment rules.

More like eating her brain.

So she liked Commander Cody. She liked him a lot. He had always been so nice. He wasn't just nice. He had a sense of dry humor that he picked up from General Kenobi that never failed to make her laugh. Then they had met at the club and he had been worried about her. He had known that she had gotten shot. Then he had offered to escort her home. It had been perfect, just something two friends would do. Then his voice had gotten all husky and his pupils had dilated and he had made that comment about staying with her. The pictures that had flooded her mind had been so wonderful. She had acted on a whim leaning in. He was the one who had actually kissed her. He was the one who had taken her waist in his war roughened hands and pulled them together. It was his tongue that had pushed past her lips.

She had been the one to pull away the first time, and the second time, though he had done it the third time. She had been the one to watch as the door swished closed with Cody on the other side. She had still been following the rules more than she wanted to admit. It was hard to deny your own life blood.

She was on leave and her master was not here. She could get up whenever she wanted. Old habits die hard however and she rose to her feet. Her sleeping clothes resembled more of Ahsoka's old fighting clothes. She had recently acquired some new ones through Senator Amidala. Jedi didn't buy. Bariss slipped back into her skin covering fabric. It felt good on her smooth green skin. She realized now she hated showing all that skin. Her nimble fingers twisted her hair into a knot then pulled her hood over her face. Perfect. She griped her lightsaber lovingly.

Something was still missing. Something felt empty. Bariss had no idea what that was until her eyes laid on her com-link. Cody. A sickness twisted in her stomach. She suddenly felt like she might vomit. Her head felt like it might pop off her shoulders. The rules were definitely kicking back in. Through all the fear and the pain she pressed the activation button.

"Commander Cody this is Bariss Ofee over," she says. Once she was speaking some of the tension dissipated. The way the voice comes over the com-link was unexpected.

"Bariss," his voice is hushed like he is hiding from something. He used her first name. "We have a problem. I went back to the bar to pick up Rex and he picked a fight with some bounty hunters. It went bad when the blasters came out. We had to split. Now the police and those drunken idiots are after us. Rex is pretty bombed as well and were holed up in this alley but I don't know how long we're gonna last," there was the slightest slur in his words as well. Oh Cody, she thought. What did you guys do?

"Commander have you been drinking?" she asks. There is a chuckle.

"Maybe there were two people who started that fight," he still slurs.

"What are your coordinates commander?"

"Rex where the hell are we?" he shouts. Definitely under the influence of something. There is some muted numbers.

"07' 354' 65.98' 102'" he says softer again. I guess the people they're hiding from came by again.

They were in the slums, with some obscure coordinates. And now she was going to have to go rescue them. She viewed Cody in a new light. He and Rex ganged up in a bar fight? Drunk? She had never seen that side of him before. He always seemed so calm and collected. Then a few words he spoke last night fluttered into her mind.

"Sometimes I can't take it,"

Oh Cody.

At least he wasn't trying to kill himself.

Yet.

Oh force.

* * *

_So what do you think? Cody and Rex are in trouble. Again. I'm going to throw in the again. it would seem like something eleven year old boys with access to alochol would do. _

_So do you want to make someone very happy?_

_Review!_


	3. Chapter 3

_PART 1_

Barris with the wind at her back flew through the temple. Everyone was either still asleep or had been awake long before. The sun now filtered in through the temple windows glinting off dust particles. They danced in whimsy circles as she disturbed the air with her force run. She skidded around the corner and almost crashed into master Plo-Kuhn.

"Padawan Ofee!" he said with surprise. He didn't seem agitated, thank the force.

"I apologize for my clumsiness," she said with a quick bow. Then she began her sprint again.

"Where are you off to in such a hurry?' he shouted after her, but she was already out of range. She flickered past some clones coming up from the loading dock. There had to be speeders down there right?

The place was massive. Clones were moving over the gray cement like bees in a metal hive. No shuttles were docked but it looked like one had just been here judging by the absence of boxes and the slew of evacuating clones. Barris spotted the speeders tethered to the landing bay. She jumped from her perch three stories up and softened her fall with the force. She tucked into a tight ball, a whirl of blue and purple fabric, before jumping to her feet and continuing her run. It was more hectic now, involving complicated twists to avoid oncoming traffic. She also has to let loose a torrent of apologies and in the end she resorts to using the slang sorry to ease her trip. Finally she reaches her escape vehicle. She vaults on to the speeder and grips the handle bars. She stares at the navi computer and frustration shifts her features into a scowl. She had never actually used one of these things. But if General Skywaker could ride it so easily, she could too. She plugged in the set of horizontal and vertical coordinates. then pressed what she took to be the ignition. The bike jumped forward and she gripped the handle bars tighter. That just made the beast move faster. Barris clung on for dear life as the speeder rocketed through traffic. A huge ship was coming right at her. Reflexively she leaned right and the speeder cut sharply in that direction. The ship let out a blare hat quickly faded into the distance. Barris joined the correct lane of traffic and was swept up in the flow. The speeder did most of the work from then on. It steered her easily through the streets, losing level at every turn. Slowly she sank deeper and deeper to the under ground until the bike slowed to a near walk. Almost as if it was scared to be here too. Barris pulled the cloak tightly around her face and hips to hide her light saber. The speeder then pulled to a stop in front of a trash lined alley way. At the other end of the alley there was a kind of barricade made of Styrofoam and compacted trash. Two men who had to be twins were braced against this make-shift wall, blasters drawn, stupid grins on their faces. Beyond that were a set of maybe five burly... creatures. They wore heavy armor and carried a slew of weapons. They looked intimidating to say the least. And these two were just sitting there about to burst into laughter? Barris wished she could roll her eyes for them. Instead she proceeded around the building and pulled to a stop. She ditched the speeder behind a dumpster and flashed her light saber at two hooded creatures with yellow eyes. They squeaked and scuttled off. Barri's face did not change with the success. She had shifted into battle mode when the freighter almost ran her over. All her senses were on high alert and her inner core was only calm. The bounty hunters were prowling the back street. One was calling out in a sing song voice that would have been hilarious coming from some one less terrifying.

"Clo-ones, Clo-ones, come here. Raxus wants to play-yay," He had a mashed in face. Almost like a pumpkin and a bull dog had a child. His canines jutted over the edge of his lip. She wondered if they were what had caused the bloody tares. His eyes were tiny and white without variation. The muscles in his arms rippled with the slightest movements. The color of the flesh could not be seen under all of the mans tattoos. Barris wasn't scared. She had faced ventress for a few minutes and survived. She could handle a common place thug. She pulled her hood down tighter over her face and lightly sprang onto a ledge right above the group of five as it slowly searched the back alleys. They must have been drunk too because they were stumbling all around and laughing at nothing. Barris tightened her legs in anticipation of the jump.

Before she could do anything however two battle cries echoed through the air. Cody and Rex revealed themselves to the backs of the bounty hunters and started shooting. Blue bolts streaked the air before any of the crude crew could even turn around let alone shoot in their drunken states. Rex and Cody had wounded two of them before Barris flipped down from her perch and split kicked two of the imbeciles in the head. Then she rammed their skulls together, easily giving them heavy concussions and knocking them out. That on top of a serious hangover would keep them down for an extended period of time. Rex had lurched over to one of the fallen men and was waving his blaster around. Cody seemed much more sober, speaking of which where was he...

"Little Jedi witch, it seems as if I have caught you friend,"Barris spins around to see the final man holding Cody by the neck. He was struggling to breathe in the choke hold. It was Raxus.

And there was a blaster against Cody's temple.

* * *

_I'm sorry it's so short but they'll be a second part. i needed to keept the suspense up and this was the perfect place to end it. I send thanks to all my reviewers! Internet hugs to all! Next chapter i'll actually mention the names at the bottom so if you want your name mentioned review! Yes i am comeing up with weak insentive but it is worth it in my book. I made Raxus up by the way so if the name is used somewhere else in the world i'm sorry it seemed like i'd heard it before after i typed it_

_REVIEW! pretty please with loads of free time on top?_

**-natcat13**


	4. Chapter 4

"See, I win Jedi. I win," Cody seemed pretty clearheaded now. There was nothing like a death threat to sober you up. Barris's mind was working furiously. How was she going to get out of this one? There was no way she could get the blaster away from him before he splattered Cody's brains on the wall. Raxus didn't seem anywhere near as wasted as his cronies. Actually he seemed extremely coordinated and very agitated. He was going to kill Cody unless she did something. The poison answer that caressed her mind was an unspoken horror. She did not want to say it aloud. But if it would free her new love, then so be it.

Yes she was in love.

"I'm not here for him," Barris scoffed flicking her hand. She had realized this hostage struggle was no longer for revenge on Cody and Rex. It was an exercise of power to see if Raxus could kill a Jedi's pet. So she needed to make him believe that she didn't care an ounce. She needed her performance to be so good Cody spat on the ground she walked. She needed to shatter his heart and have him curse at her. Raxus needed to believe all the hate. Only then would he survive this.

"I am here for the captain," she pointed at Rex. "He is special, he is the chosen ones commander. That one," she sneered at Cody. She watched his face as it twisted first to horror, then disgust. He hated her. It was working. Raxus looked confused and his grip was lessening his sure victory slipping from his fingers. "Even if you killed both of them it wouldn't matter. There are millions just like _them,_" she laughed then. Rex looked horrified and Cody looked furious.

"You Di'kut," he swore at her. If he could get his hands on that blaster he would shoot her himself. "You used me," Barris ignored him completely.

"It was me you wanted Bounty hunter. There are only so many Jedi, and none just like me. You've failed and _I_ have won."

"No!" Raxus shouts and pushes Cody away in disgust. He holds his blaster up to shoot Kenobi's commander but Raxus made a fatal mistake in letting go of Cody. With the force she shoves his blaster upwards. Then with one quick stroke of the light saber and his body crumples and his head hits the pavement with a thunk before it rolls into the trash where it belongs. Cody stands there and stares, face painted in a perfectly conflicted expression.

Then Rex is there and he gives him one of those man hugs where they slap each other on the back at least four times. Cody stares over his shoulder right at Barris. She stands there gripping her lightsaber and looking almost pitiful. Weak, compared to her usual demeanor of cool self-confidence. Her feet are turned in and her shoulders slumped, hood falling low into her beautiful eyes. She begins to fade into the shadows as she backs away. Rex finally releases Cody and he reaches out to Barris. Cody draws her into his own embrace but hisses in her ear so Rex won't hear a simple statement.

"General, if you do not wish to have relations with me, I will not be offended. Attachments are forbidden I know." Barris clutches at his neck. "Even _Jedi_ are not that good of actors." If she was bold she would have just kissed him to show her love. Instead she just whispered sadly,

"Forever Cody," she pulled away a little and looked into his eyes. "I have loved you forever." Then Barris mumbled something about having to get back to the temple. She ran away from a stunned Cody and a perplexed Rex.

Stupid, stupid, stupid! Why couldn't she be like Ahsoka? Why couldn't she have just smashed her lips to his and made love with they're mouths? Barris knew why. She was a scared youngling again walking through the massive corridors of the Jedi temple, the sailing orifices like gaping maws of some hungry beast. She was practically clinging to Luminara's skirts. Even then she could sense the displeasure in her master's stance. She had never been fond of children and all their nuisances. Barris's childhood had never been warm and comfortable. It had been even rougher than most Padawans. She had always struggled to be the best, to be the perfect Jedi. That led to little or no friendships and a childhood spent at arm's length from all those around her. Attachments were not the way of the light force. Following the rules was easier in the light of day. Breaking them was even harder. Being bad was not in Barris's nature.

She worked so hard her entire childhood, never really having one actually. Becoming a Padawan was a dream come true. Then Ahsoka had come on the scene. She was bubbly and loose cannon. She was a Padawan at twelve. TWELVE! It had infuriated Barris. She had been the best student and then this, this, qızcığaz had become the chosen ones Padawan. She was no Jedi, with a clique of friends many years older than herself. She acted rashly and without deliberation which could mean death on the battle field. So at first Barris had been extremely jealous. She had barley tolerated the chipper qızcığaz. It had only taken her superior intellect a single day in the company of Ahsoka and her master to realize that Ahsoka was nothing more than a test for Anakin. It always came back to the chosen one. The Jedi order didn't view Ahsoka as a separate entity. She was always Skywalker's Padawan, The chosen ones test, or at worst, his legacy. So instead Barris had started to feel pity. Out of that pity came compassion, and from that her first attachment. It was from there she realized the Jedi order was not perfect. From there she went downhill becoming freer and more Ahsoka like all the time. She had finally crashed last night with those kisses. She had fallen that much closer to the dark side. How much longer until she was no better than Anakin, dancing in a cage both metaphorically and physically?

She looked at herself in the courtyard fountain's reflection. The Jedi temple surrounded her in its respectful hush, the huddle of younglings talking only in the barest whispers.

How much longer until she was just like Ventress?

The stress was over whelming. It was crushing her in its grasp. Barris fled on force quickened feet back to her chamber, away from the world. The door slid closed and she leaned against it as if to keep her thoughts from following. The afternoon light filtered through the metal shade throwing her face behind bars.

Barris collapsed into a meditative pose. She cleared her mind and forced herself (no pun intended) not to think. For hours and hours she didn't move, barely breathed, her heart fluttered in her chest like the wings of a precious butterfly. She only stirred when the door to her chambers opened. Her voice toned gently in the near midnight air.

"Welcome," then she opened her eyes and fell back on her mat. A squeak escaped her lips and she fell back. Cody stood there in his jumpsuit peeled to his waist.

"I love you Barris," he said hotly and fell over the top of her, knees spreading to encase her hips. His hands pushed up her stomach and just as their lips met-

Barris jerked awake with sweat on her brow and a hollow feeling in her stomach. It had been a dream. No one was in the midnight room. Barris lifted herself from the embarrassingly toppled position back into her cross legged pose. She was about to go back into meditation when her stomach clenched extremely painfully. How long had she been meditating? Two days? Her stomach went through another spasm and she groaned, crinkling like paper in an angry man's fist. Defiantly multiple days. Her mouth tasted like cotton and blood. Water first, food second she thought to herself and tripped on her way to the refresher. She shoved her lips under the faucet and drowned herself in water. It ran down her face and soaked her hair. It was so good. The horrible clenching was lessening and Barris stood straight again, not bothering to wipe her face. She just let the water rest there forming sheen. She proceeded back into her chambers and picked up her com link. She almost fell over at all the messages. Ahsoka, Ahsoka, Ahsoka, Ahsoka, Cody, Ahsoka. There was one more from barely an hour ago and it was also from the sarcastic commander. She listened to that one first.

"Commander Ofee, you have not responded to my other call. I wish not to be harsh, but I give you one more chance. I did not declare clones were worthless then announce love for the one you had just called a droid. You must meet me at the club where it began by 21 hundred standard time. If you don't, I'll know you were not lying," Barris's heart was steadily dropping lower and lower in her chest. "Don't worry, I won't hold it against you if you don't show up." The message ended without pomp and circumstance. _Don't worry I won't hold it against you_. The words echoed through her conscious. She loved him and he was about to give up on her. Graciously too. Barris glanced down at the time.

Tears sprang to her cheeks for the first time in recent memory. A cry escaped her lips.

21:01

So another chapter posted! It's not quite as long as I like but longer than the last chapter I believe. I just want to mention that out of all my stories, this one has received the most encouragement, views, and praise! You guys are amazing! Special thanks to **rabbit. Aurora Lunar 0Love This0 Olen jedi ikuisesti Darth Cirus **and** Blades252**! Your reviews keep me writing. And too all of you significant others who are reading, because I know you are, Fanfiction tells me so,

REVIEW PLEASE!

(you'll get mentioned next chapter)

Hopefully I'll have the next chapter up some time early next week. I'm shooting for Monday through Wednesday. The more reviews I get the faster it goes up…(nudge nudge)

Suggestions? Comments? Critiques? Questions?

Just type!

-Natcat13


	5. Chapter 5

Her world was spinning out of control. It was sliding down her throat and she couldn't stop the choking. Her skin was burning but her hands went cold and all the blood drained from her soft green face. She was doomed to a life of monotony and death with no brightness except for her healing. She didn't know if she could go on with only that to support her. Though Barris wasn't one to give up. So in a repeat of this morning's adventures she grabbed a speeder and rode to the bar where Ahsoka had dragged her.

It wasn't hard to find Cody.

He was sitting at the same iron table where they had their first real conversation. The chair across from him seemed forlorn pushed in perfectly straight. Normally Cody would look the same way. It was what Barris had expected. Instead what she saw made her feel more self-loathing. Cody was slumped forward, hands wrapped around a tall thin glass. The alcohol inside was glowing purple. Like a lightsaber. And he was _drinking_ the poison. He knocked it back in one gulp and his entire body shuddered. His face screwed up in disgust. Barris was lucky she had caught him early in his drinking. Otherwise those things would have been much worse when she pulled out the chair and sat in front of him.

"What do you want commander Ofee?" he asked. His voice was perfectly pitched for military communication. There was no anger, or regret, or hate or pain. The nothing was worse.

"I want you, Cody. You," she says desperately, hands reaching across the table and gripping his own. He pulls away gently, almost like he would a child.

"If that was true, you would have been here an hour ago. You would have picked up my call. You wouldn't have said those things Commander. If that was true," his eyes were bright. His beautiful eyes were the color of the storming sea, gray and black. Barris's fingers reached out and touched his face. His eyes closed for just a moment as if to savor her touch. Then he pulled his cheek away.

"Cody…" she whimpered and self-consciously pulled her hands to her lap.

"I do not believe that is appropriate General. Unless you make it an order that I must love you. Then of course I'll listen." The sarcasm bit at her heels like a raving dog. "But wait, Jedi can't love can they? So you'd be breaking you precious rules wouldn't you?" he laughs and then coughs, choking a little. He reaches out for the next drink brought to him by the busty servant droid. He downs it then wipes his lips and his pupils dilate as the purple glow disappears. Barris reaches for his hands again and manages to grip them. Her thin green fingers are stronger than they appear. She has wielded a lightsaber practically since birth.

"Cody, listen to me! I wanted to come but I didn't get your message until a minute after I was supposed to be here…" she trailed off at his expression. It made her want to curl into a ball and find a nice blanket to cry under. He looked at her like she was lower than dirt. Like the clones looked at the backs of those Jedi who didn't care about their brothers' lives.

"Jedi are the best liar I know," he was drunker than he was barely a minute ago. "And I deal with Separatist scum all day." Barris recognizes Rex's term for the Separatists.

"I don't lie Cody. It is not something healers do," she sighed and let go of him. He jerked his fingers away like she burned.

"General, with all due respect, I think it would be better if you left now. And never spoke to me again," he turned and reached for the next drink. Barris was fed up with this. She loved this man and he was tossing her aside like a used up blaster cartage. She was much more. Ten minutes should not decide a relationship. So she struck the drink from his hand before he could take a sip. She stood and the chair screeched back. Cody winced under her gaze.

"I love you Cody. And if you can't see that," she stood and swirled her cloak behind her. Her fists were clenched at her sides and her eyes blazing. A dark green bloomed under her purple freckles. "Then I will do as you asked. You won't have to worry about the rules anymore," then she jumped over the railing beside the bar and strode toward her speeder.

She didn't even realize she was crying and her face was twisted into a look that portrayed utter defeat. Barris was a Jedi at heart. She would always be a Jedi. There was no room for illegal love in her life. She wasn't Ahsoka. She couldn't let loose. She couldn't just go up to Cody and make-

Her thoughts were stopped by a hand on her wrist. Then she was being spun around. To tell you the truth she expected Cody. It was just Ahsoka, wearing her new even more provocative outfit. Her giant blue eyes were apologetic.

"I'm sorry Barris. I really am," she says. Barris smiled weakly.

"It is fine Ahsoka. I deserve my fate. I always have," she turned away from her orange friend. The hand on her arm faded away, like Barris was. A fog of needles, piercing her skin but leaving no mark, surrounding her in soft definition. She ghosted to her bike, and mounted the seat, spreading her legs elegantly. She didn't look back at Cody. She didn't want to see him drowning another drink.

What she didn't see was him shoving the next one away and standing ram rod straight, moving toward the nearest speeder even if it wasn't his own.

Barris flew lazily back to the Jedi temple. She wasn't really excited to go back to the room where her life had fallen apart. No, who was she kidding. Her life was perfectly fine. Everything was great for her Jedi career. And being a Jedi was her life. It was just when she started wanting more that everything broke. She fingers her lips, ravished so by Cody's own. How badly she wants that again. _I'll just get another clone and order him to kiss me_ she thinks. _If that is what Cody thinks I am, then maybe I'll be that way. _She actually laughs out loud at the thought of doing something like that. She could never do that to her men. She would never do that to her men. Maybe she'll tell it as a joke when she gets back on the cruiser. The longing to be back hit her like a ton of bricks. The ship was her home now, not the draft temple with the mat on the floor. The small bed imbedded in the wall and the light that buzed until you wacked it with your fist. The hallways always bustling with clones no matter the time of day. Unless it was dinner. Then it was a ghost land.

"They really like their grub," she mumbled as the Jedi temple came into view. She hadn't even realized she made it back. She flew around the black a few times, maybe eleven, and then scooted into the small parking space. The dual moons glowed solemn silver, their light not making a difference in the shadow under the monstrous structure. Out in the city all the lights competed with the celestial bodies, and the city won. The moons were just some far off ideal, not habitable for life and not worthy of a base. Why should anyone bother with them when life was here, when life was now? Barris wondered if she should be the one bothering.

Trudging up all the stairs to her room was a welcome task to get her mind off her predicament. The arduous physical activity strained her muscles and lulled her mind. Barris ignored the mumbles and moans she heard from down one dark corridor, though she twitched a little when she heard Skywalker's deep voice down the same hall way. She had _not_ needed to hear that. No wonder Ahsoka had suchj ease with Rex. Just being around her master must force her to learn things.

Barris let those thoughts slip from her mind and was almost meditating by the time the door to her courter's swished open. The serenity was lost when she saw the figure staring out her window and into the sky. She hadn't been focused enough to sense him, and his mind was perfectly in control. He turned, and his profile glinted silver. It was almost like her dream except he wasn't half naked and raging with passion or anything for that matter.

"Commander Cody," she said softly. She really wasn't mad at him. It had all been her fault. So when he turned to her and got down on his knees she almost burst into tears. His face was a mask, but a sad mask. He looked like a puppy that had been rudely kicked.

"Barris," just the use of her name surprised her. The rest stupefied her. "I apologize for all that I said to you. I make no excuses for my behavior except that I was horribly confused. I am not anymore," he stands up. Barris is tall, but he is taller. He makes her feel small, vulnerable. Though his hands are gentle when they clasp hers. She loves the way he holds them. "I love you Barris. I do." Then his voice grows despairing. "If you won't take me I hold it naught against you. In your position I might do the same."

"But what I said-"

"You were not speaking the truth. You did it to save my life. It was foolish of me to take it for more than it was worth. Things like that get you killed on the battle field. Mistakes like that," he pauses.

"It would have been my greatest mistake to let you go." Barris had never expected something so romantic from the relatively gruff and extremely stiff commander. This was a different side of Cody, one she had never seen. She loved him more for it.

"It would have been mine to let you die," he laughs a little.

"Your life would have been easier if you had just let him kill me," his soft burr echoes through the practically empty mere thought made her sick. She clutched his chest, bringing them closer. She whispered in his ear.

"Don't ever say that. I would be ruined if you were to die. Look and see." Then she kissed him.

It was a wonderful kiss, soft lips and gentle touches. It was sweet, innocent pure. Cody's eyes flickered closed. The lids covered a now chocolate brown iris. Warm, like his heart. When they pulled away there was no awkwardness, just a companionable silence. They swirled together, and rocked back and forth to silent music. Cody pulled Barris's hood down, releasing a cascaded of her purple hair.

"Why'd you do that?" she asks sweetly from her position with her arms around his waist.

"You look happier when your hair is down," he mumbled. She smiled up at him. He captured those beautiful lips with his own.

Then Barris's com link beeped. Then Cody's. They glowed grotesquely in the dark room. Neither protested as the other pulled away. Protocol came first for both of them. Barris activated her's swiftly.

"This is Padawan Ofee," she said crisply, hiding the husk in her voice with some difficulty. Then she released the speak button.

"This is Commander Cody," Cody then jerked into trained attention when he heard his commander's voice echo over both the com-links.

"Padawan Ofee-"

"Commander Cody-"

"I am sorry to disturb you at this late hour. But we have a problem."

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_Yay! Another chapter done. It might have taken a little longer than I predicted because I had a wee case o' writers block. It has been fixed, and now I am writing again. It is difficult for me to keep five active stories going, and at some points six, along wiht one I am writing for fictionpress, do updates will probably be this far apart for an extended period of time until break, then'll they will probably come faster. Hopefully. I try my best. Anyway, a slew ( because I have discovered this word and have become obsessed) of thanks to my reviewers, **Aurora Lunar 0Love This0, Blades252, Leova, and DeathGoddesses**! You guys keep me writing through the block! _

_Next chapter we get to test Cody and Barris's relationship yet again, but in a different way. _

_Questions? Comments? Ideas?_

_Just type me!_


	6. Chapter 6

**just quickly flash backs are in italics**

**Disclaimer I don't own SWTCW or any of the people in it. but im secretly george lucas so actually I do**

**shhhhh...**

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Obi-wan's voice rang through the communicators. He was speaking in his negotiation voice. The emotionlessness was almost as visible as if they were looking right at his face.

"See, master Luminara has been captured." Cody glanced quickly at Barris as she let out a stifled gasp.

"So what is our mission general?"

"When did this happen?" they spoke only after the other had finished so Obi-wan wouldn't hear the other one speak.

"Anakin and I are being sent to extract her. You and Rex will be in charge of the invasion."

"It happened about five standard hours ago. We just received word a single standard hour ago. The council made their official decision two minutes ago,"

"When are we leaving sir?"

"Are we going to rescue her?"

"I'm not exactly sure. I can't seem to get a hold of Anakin…" he trailed off for a moment and Cody had to hold back hoots of laughter. He knew where Skywalker was.

"Yes. You should stay here your ties to your master may interfere with-'

"I am coming. There is no question."

"Padawan Ofee…"

"I am coming master Kenobi. I will meet you at the Resolute as quickly as possible." Barris turned off her communicator. There was a fire in her eyes Cody had never seen before. Her fists were clenched and her face in shadow. She was fierce predator.

She was a Jedi.

"Come Commander. We must go," she flicked past him dress sweeping his shoes. It was lucky he was already wearing his armor and his bucket was in the corner. His white gloved hand gripped hers. It clicked strangely in the silence of the room.

"Barris," he says and she turns to him. "It will be okay." Her body is strong and straight.

"No Cody," she meets his beautiful changing eyes. "It is not going to be okay." The moons laugh at her now. Silver faces and superior smiles leering at her. In the dark room with her forbidden commander while her master is tortured on some far off planet. She was no Jedi. She was just a rebellious teenager. No better than drunken Rex or Ahsoka on a bad day. She was no better than General Skywalker in that strips of fabric tongue on the poll. For a moment she debated running away and joining the circus. Then Cody's forehead was on hers and her breath caught in her throat from his closeness. He had shaved this morning his face smooth and soft. In the dark his forehead tattoos seemed like grotesque shadows, just a memory of nightmares long past.

"It will be Barris. It has to be," and he kissed her. It was gentle and soft, reassuring. There was no boundary testing or the wild passion before the call. His hand rested on her hip and didn't move any father. His thumb rotated in calming circles on her hand. The armor had a strange feel on her skin. Like a dead man's finger. It was an awful visual Cody lying in the dust eyes white and rolling. The black and red hole resting in his chest like an inverted heart. It brought desperation into her kiss and the way her fingers clutched his neck.

She pressed close to his armor chest and pulled her lips away. Her hands were groping around his face, touching his bone structure and tracing his eyebrows. She was stroking and peppering him with light touches. Finally she stopped with her palms cupping his chin. He waited patiently through the entire ordeal. He was always patient, waiting before striking, thinking before acting. He was much like his General. It was as if Kenobi was the father her never had. He had only been away from him for a few days and already he missed him. Lost in thought, Cody was surprised when he found his head being pulled forward and a pair of lips entwined in his own. There was more pressure, more, more. It was almost to the point where he couldn't take it. Then they were gone again. Barris was three feet away dark green blush blooming under her tattoos. He had learned they were not natural skin earlier that night. He had always wondered that. He wondered lots of things about the mysterious Jedi.

Barris was horrified at the desperation she had shown Cody. She had shown him love where she wished to only reveal lust. She felt exposed to the world and just wanted to race off to the Resolute. She would be strong for her master and proceed to the ship calmly with its commander. Maybe at one point she would have the discipline to lie to him. To tell him that it was over and she felt no love for him. That she, Barris Offe, was a Jedi. She would have to be strong.

She would have to be able to break ten thousand hearts.

For his had the strength of a million.

Cody stared at the beautiful girl before him. His heart twisted a little more each time. This was wrong. It was illegal. The fact she was throwing away everything she held dear for him left him feeling nauseous and dirty. It also made him want to throw a swagger in his step and grin like a fool at everyone he knew. It was strange, to feel this way about someone. Clones weren't bred for romanticism. They were bred to fight, kill, and be killed. He had no misconceptions about it. His life had been perfectly simple, summed up in those five words since he was hatched. He had brothers, and a best friend, and he felt content. He never felt superior to his fellow troopers even though he was the commander and had received special training. If anything he felt it was his duty to protect them and sacrifice himself for them. Yes, he sighed as his eyes followed the delectable running figure in front of him. His life had been simple before he met her.

_Cody and Rex waited for the transport to arrive. Ahsoka had left on the last one out, which had upset Rex a little more than Cody felt was appropriate. _

"_Form up, she won't be gone long. Master Luminara and Bly are extremely capable," he looked over at Rex and saw his solemn face. Cody lost some of that military formality he carried with himself like a child a favorite toy. "Hey," he gripped his friends shoulder. "She will be fine. And it will be good for her to have a different Master for a while. Skywalker can be a… interesting teacher." Rex laughed. _

"_You got that right Cody. He is a wild one. Don't worry, I teach the kid what he misses." He licked his lips when he said it. Cody thought nothing of it at the time. Know he knew better. _

"_Don't let him see you ogling over her either. He would stick you through with his lightsaber," Rex rubbed his chest as if it hurt at the thought. _

"_Probably."_

"_She is a Jedi and you are a clone Rex,"_

"_Do not tell me you don't find her attractive," Rex said. Cody mentally shook his head and rolled his eyes to the ceiling. They'd had this conversation before. Just because she was female and didn't wear a lot of fabric didn't make her gorgeous. That and the fact she was barely fourteen. Cody was saved from having to answer _

"_Here she comes," they said as the new shuttle came into the hanger. It hit the floor with a satisfying clang as the magnets locked in. The massive doors began to shut as the gang plank extended. From the darkness of the hold came a leg, then another, then a face that caused his heart to beat much faster. Two blue eyes blinked and an olive green hand reached up to shade her face. There was a smattering of purple freckles across her small nose and her purple lips pursed a little bit. For some reason he wanted to know what those lips felt like. Long leg carried her down the gang way and onto the hanger floor. Cody felt to fingers under his chin as him mouth was gently pushed closed. Cody glanced at Rex who was making this cow eyed face at him. It made Cody really want to punch that smug grin off his face. Couldn't he see they were in the presence of a real lady? Though soon she was in ear shot and they snapped to attention, saluting the Padawan. _

"_At ease men," she said in a soft voice. Cody had to force himself to keep his eyes _up._ She was nothing like commander Tano. Every inch of skin was covered except her face and hands. Even her hair was hidden under swathes of dark purple fabric. She was tall and thin, but had more curve than Ahsoka. She also wore a skirt. A real skirt, not that underwear Skywalker let his Padawan get away with. She was sophisticated and she had only spoken three words. _

"_Hello Captain, Commander," she nodded to each of them in turn. _

"_Welcome aboard Commander Offee," said Rex. Cody wondered how he didn't stutter. _

_"Will you both accompany me to the bridge, I have important matters to discuss with Master Kenobi and Master Skywalker," she did not wait for a reply. She just swished her skirt and began walking, lightsaber clinking solemnly at her hip. It was the ultimate reminder to Cody that his fancies were foolish and never, ever going to happen. _

Now he was standing next to her in a gun ship as they were brought hurriedly to where the Resolute waited in Orbit. They were so close they could hold hands. No one in the ship would report them; the bleary eyed men would probably think it was a trick of the shadow. Yet they their fingers stayed centimeters apart. Neither dared grab hold of the other. For a few minutes, fear ruled their lives for the first time they could remember. That was until the gun ship hit turbulence exiting the atmosphere and Cody was accidentally tossed into Barris and then Barris was accidentally thrown into Cody and they fell down on the floor in one big heap of purple fabric and white armor. The other clones were on the ground too, groaning and climbing to their feet. When none of them were looking the pair snuck a quick kiss, nothing special.

Okay, so maybe it hadn't been entirely accidental.

The force did come in handy sometimes.

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**I'm thrilled I go this chapter out. I felt pretty proud at the end. I don't have much to say except to thank all my great reviewers. You are each getting an entire line today!**

**Deathgoddesses! Your name is really cool and I wish i had thought of it**

**Leova! I was extremly glad to make your 2:24 a.m. **

**Tell Me These Words Are A Lie! i will keep writing though I seem to have the inablity to write long chapters!**

**rabit.! your sorta my fanfic idol to tell you the truth... you write SO FAST!**

**Blades252! thank you for supporting me through all my previous chapters and hopefully the ones to come!**

**Queen! thank you for your continued compliments *blushes***

**Aurora Luna 0LoveThis0! i have difficulty spelling your name everytime but i hope I got it right :D Your enthusiasim gets me excited about my story. and I'm the one writing it!**

**THANKS SO MUCH YOU KEEP MY HEART PUMPING!**

**(a little too dramatic...)**

**anyway, i have fixed my finiky email and now i will see ALL my reviews. yay. so now everyone gets credit. also yay. So i give you my best holiday wishes and when my break starts next weekk there will be more chapter updates. **

**bless your face,**

**and if you sneezed while you were reading this bless you**

**and if someone in the room with you sneezed while you were reading this bless them**

**-nat13cat (i got it rite this time)**


	7. Chapter 7

_Play time is over Barris, you need to focus_. _Your master needs you. Cody doesn't._ It took all of Barris's will power to not jump on him as they entered the lift that would take them to the bridge. They were alone and they had no idea how long it would be until the next time. She wanted to touch his armor and run her hands over his helmet. Actually she would rather touch him without the armor. She allowed herself one small pleasure and tugged off his bucket.

"Barris…" he mumbled and pressed their foreheads together "Barris we shouldn't be doing this,"

"I know," she says softly and runs her delicate fingers through his military hair. "There are so many things I shouldn't have done this past week. Yet I did them. I am not going to stop now," she says with a sad smile. Cody returns it. They both know they won't have long together. It is not that often that General Kenobi works with General Unduli. Cody voices this as the lift rises closer to their destination.

"The force will bring us back together," she says with determination. She sighs a little and twists her finger in her hair absently. Cody takes that finger from her and kisses it. Then he gets down on one knee. Barris looks at him with wide eyes surprise etched on her delicate features.

"I need to be with you Barris. When I'm not with you, I can't stop thinking about you. You are everywhere I look," his rough hands take her own. Her brain is twisting, trying to find a way out of it. She doesn't want him to say what she knows is going to come out of his lips. There will be no turning back from there. It will be over and she will be lost. She doesn't have the strength though. She can't stop him. She wants it too much. "I love you Barris. All week I have just fallen father in love." Barris takes his hands and pulls him to his feet. She looks him right in his beautiful shifting eyes, now a soft lilac. Strongly, without any doubt she replies with a promise of her own.

"I love you too Cody. May the force witness it." And she kissed him. It was soft and warm. His lips were sweet and the only soft part of his body. Too fast it was over and they were standing an appropriate distance apart. Cody snapped his helmet back into his armor and Barris straightened her hair covering. The doors opened revealing Anakin and Obi-wan staring into space. Barris practically squeaked at the sight of Anakin. She would never be able to look at him the same way. Seeing him only in a blue thong…. Ah she felt like she might barf right there. Cody grabbed her wrist and shook his head very slightly. He might be advising her to do anything. No one would know the difference. Her eyes flickered back to the man no one could deny was a good Jedi. And good looking. Nothing compared to Cody, with the scar she discovered on the side of his skull.

Obi-wan obviously had no idea of his Padawan's antics. He would never let it stand. There was a man she looked up to. He was strong, but it was subtle. Instead of blinding flashes and ashes of energy like Skywalker he radiated and simmered in the force. He was wise too. Actually it almost seemed as if some of his personality had rubbed off on Cody. As her favorite person in the entire galaxy talked calmly through his yellow painted bucket, she saw similarities in their stances. Their accents, their mannerisms, it was as if Cody was his son. She sensed two more strong presences in the force enter the bridge. Ahsoka in her new less revealing outfit and Rex strode into the bride. Both went to report to their superior, Master Skywalker.

It was the same with Rex. His swagger, his smirk. Actually it was a little funny to watch the differences between Anakin and Obi-wan and their clones. Barris was jerked from her thoughts when someone waved their hand in front of her face.

"Comm to Barris," the older girl smiled.

"Greetings Ahsoka," the Torgurta grinned in return but it faded quickly to a look of concern.

"Are you all right?"

"I will be fine Ahsoka. As soon as we get Master Unduli back," Ahsoka lays a friendly arm on her shoulders.

"Don't worry, we will get her back. Why don't we go to the mess for a bit, find something edible. Get your mind off things," Barris smiles in appreciation. "Anyway," Ahsoka continues while her blue and white montrails bounce against her back. "We aren't needed here. They are arguing about one thing or another." They go down in the lift together.

As the door close, Barris catches a yellow and white helmet staring at her. She twiddles her fingers down by her hip. Then the pair is separated by steel. Ahsoka has the good graces not to mention it in the elevator. Actually, neither says much at all until they sit at their own table with GAR dura-plastic trays in front of them. Barris swishes her food around with her fork. Hunger evades her as her thoughts turn once again to her master. Every time she closes her eyes Luminara is being tortured. Shocked by force resistance collars and arms strung up above her head. Thank goodness Ahsoka was there, or Barris probably would have fallen to pieces. For all her faults, she was a good friend.

"I wish I could help Barris," Ahsoka whispers and curls her small orange hands over her own olive ones. "Anakin gets captured a lot, but three fourths of the time it is on purpose," Barris laughs a little for her friends benefit more than her own. "The other times he can usually get himself out. It is worse for him when I am in trouble," she sighs a little and twiddles her fingers. "Remember when you were infected with that Genosian mind worm?" Barris shudders at the memory. That had been the worst two hours of her life. She had told Ahsoka to kill her, save her own life, and end Barris's misery. She had killed a clone trooper that day. A man with Cody's face. "Well, Anakin was the one who told me how to save you. I asked the Jedi masters how they found out, and they had no idea. They had all tried to get the information out and even together they couldn't do it. Then Anakin had gone down by himself and sent the clone guard away. The only witness was a protocol droid, and its memory had been wiped." Ahsoka pauses and gulps. She moves her fingers in the signal for Barris to lean forward. She complies. Ahsoka continues in a whisper. "I looked up the security footage this week in the archives. Anakin, he, he choked Pago. With the force. He said, 'Mind tricks? I don't need Jedi mind tricks,' and backhanded him across the face. Then he shoved him up the wall with the force and he tor-" Ahsoka couldn't go on. Barris gripped the young girl's hands. She looked hallowed out, more worn than she had just a few ago. She wore her new clothes all the time now, and carried two lightsabers. One wasn't enough for her anymore. Ahsoka had succumbed to the pains of war. "I tried to tell Obi-wan, but when I began he just got really pale and wouldn't hear me. He dismissed me quickly. As if he had always suspected but didn't want his fears confirmed." Ahsoka said no more. The pair looked down at the center of the table. None of their food had been eaten. Both got up and left the mess, dropping their trays off at a table full of clones who devoured the left overs. They proceeded to the deck, where no one bothered them as they stared at the lights of hyperspace. It could be beautiful if you analyzed it. They didn't see it however, both were lost in their own thoughts.

"What's happening to us Ahsoka?" Two sets of blue eyes met. "What is happening to the Jedi order when the Chosen One is using the dark side of the force?"

"I don't know Barris," and she claps her hands behind her back. "I don't know."

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**I am so glad I wrote this chapter. I hope it flowed nicely and was enjoyed by all. UBER THANKS TO _blades252, tamachanKICK, Queen, and Auroralunar0lovethis0! _You guys are awsome. I'm sorry it took so long tome create, I've been busy with christmas. I had to write something about the worms, sorry about bringing back bad memories of Anakin. But i felt it was nesscessary. It is going to be night time next chapter and cody and barris are on the same ship... *wink wink nudge nudge* remember that dream of Barris? *Grin evilly and rub hands together* Warning, it will be a bit more graphic than previous chapters. It will still be rated T though, no worries. Oh, and review please! Leave me a christmas present!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Warning: this chapter is a little sexy but nothing worse than what you'd see in your average PG-13 movie**

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It was night time on the Resolute. Master Unduli must be very far across the galaxy, for it to take so long to get there. Barris was sitting on her thing mattress, legs crossed and palms resting on her knees. Her breathing was slow and even, but she was not asleep. Even Jedi cannot sleep floating a few inches above the ground. How she wished she was in that state. Then her thoughts wouldn't haunt her, wouldn't distract her, wouldn't poison her mind. Only in sleep could she find refuge from the pain in her heart and pain in her gut. One was from anxious tension. She was so nervous she was making herself sick. She lost her concentration and fell back to the bed.

Barris mumbled a faint curse under her breath. She wanted to take her lightsaber to her thoughts, get rid of them swiftly and cleanly. It wasn't possible though, unless she wanted to take out her frustrations on her skull, which was never a good idea.

Actually the idea of her chasing herself around got her snickering as she stood up and brushed off her skirt. Then her thoughts came swooping back like furious birds pecking at her eyes and her laughter died immediately.

She needed comfort. She needed someone to tell her everything would be all right. She didn't want to wake Ahsoka. The girl was having enough trouble sleeping as it was. The Padawan had her own master troubles. Barris really wanted Cody. She wanted his strong arms wrapped around her and his soft voice in her ear. She wanted his calm, his stability, his mind that thought so logically. She needed him to anchor her. She wanted his smooth muscles that her hands ached to touch. She wanted his soft smile and his cheeky smirk he had picked up from Rex. She wanted his soft hair and faded tattoos from a time when he was younger. She wanted his dry sense of humor and his lips which tasted like forbidden alcohol. She wanted the planes of his angular face and most of all she wanted to loose herself in his eyes. Those beautiful eyes….

She was too self-conscious to wake him, or walk into the barracks filled with half-dressed clones. The mere thought made her blush. She was glad her room was dark and she didn't have to see her dark green face in the refresher mirror. So instead of seeking comfort Barris went to the medical bay. It was empty. The deck where both she and Ahsoka had stood hours earlier was next on the list. Alone she traversed the dimly lit halls, if she heard footsteps going the other way, avoiding people at all costs. She was almost thankful for the noises-you-never-want-to-hear coming from Anakin's room. They gave her something to focus on other than her plight as a Jedi knight. They were still needles in her ears when she reached her destination, where she gratefully slid down the smooth metal wall. This time she let herself be absorbed by the flying colors and swirling patterns of hyper-space and wishing they were Cody's eyes.

Cody lay awake in his bunk. Normally the sounds of his brothers' faint snores comforted him, but for the first time it made him feel more alone. He was the only soul who remained in the land of the focused and alert. That didn't include the entire ship, bridge clones slept in shifts. All the field troopers were sound asleep in their bunks. Cody swung feet identical to theirs over the edge of his bed. He was glad he was on the bottom. Otherwise he would have had to jump down and risk waking his brothers up, or risk climbing down and stepping on a brother's hand. That was an experience he did not wish to repeat. It was never a good idea to wake a soldier suddenly.

Cody still did not leave his spot in the bed. His skin glinted in the emergency lights that ran along the beds, casting him almost statue like in his posture, legs spread and knees bent, one arm across his knee the other braced there, head clutched in a hand. He blinked slowly. He was weary, bone tired actually. He wanted nothing more than to sleep and let the pains of his newly complex life fade away. But that newly complex life was keeping him awake. One person in particular was the culprit of his thoughts.

Barris.

She was beautiful. With her turned up nose and purple tattoos. They way her skin looked soft, and was. How when he touched her she shivered underneath his hands and whispered his name. Her shyness when they were alone. Her boldness when she wanted something he wasn't giving. Her voice, how her loved it. How he could change it when she let him. How she let him do things, how if she didn't nothing would ever happen. The way she wanted him, the way he wanted her. The way he was when he was with her. How he loved her. The warmth was pooling in his stomach like good drink, only better because his head was clear. She was intoxicating. Her lips, they tasted fresh and innocently sweet. Nothing much in the GAR was sweet or innocent, so he savored her. He wanted her to always be that way. Never to darken or blacken or burn, just to stay sweet and green and new forever. And if her innocence had to leave, he wanted to be the one to take it. Gently and with love, not with the horror of war and the knife of never letting go, he would save her from that. He would love her until he joined his lost brothers.

He wanted love, but he was too shy to go and get it. What would Barris think of him, coming into her room half-dressed and ravishing her? Not too highly. So he stood silently and debated taking his armor. He doubted they would be attacked in the few minutes it would take for him to go on his usual I-am-scared-for-my-brothers-lives-so-I-can't-sleep-so-I-pace-in-places-no-one-can-see walk. He pulled his flight suit all the way on but didn't zip it up. There were only going to be brothers walking around anyway. He slipped from the Barracks and began his stroll with a little military swagger his hands clasped behind his back. He didn't sleep in commanders quarters after that… experience with Skywalker. He shuddered involuntarily. He respected the man. He was powerful and saved many of his brothers' lives. Yet his means of entertainment were… unnerving for a man such as himself. Something's could never be unseen.

Barris.

How he wished he had seen her like that instead.

The purple streaks were the only things that illuminated her face. The silence and monotony of space was comforting the restless Jedi's mind. The imparity of sleep was drifting into her mind. That's when she sensed a presence. She thought it was part of the incoming dream so she did nothing about it. She knew it was a dream when Cody entered the hall in his flight suit. It was fairly tight and left nothing to be imagined. She bit her lip.

"Barris, what are you doing here?"

"I couldn't sleep," she manages to tear her eyes away from Cody's luscious person and stares out into space. She hears footsteps and then the sound of someone sitting next to her. Not too close, there was no suggestion in the gesture. It was just the friendly thing to do.

"What's wrong Barris?" Cody asks softly. He had been surprised to see the lovely Padawan in his usual pacing spot. There was very little traffic in this area. It was an unnecessary hall that the designers hadn't really thought through.

It hadn't been a bad surprise, and he had enough of those in his lifetime to recognize one when he stumbled into it. Actually, just seeing Barris had made his heart beat quicken and a thin blush to cross his face at the state of his dress. His mind was suddenly full of images. They all dissolved when he heard the distress in her voice.

"It seems like my world is crumbling around me. Luminara gone, captured. The dark side of the force growing stronger," she draws her knees to her chest and crosses her arms. Barris rests her chin on her wrists and turns to Cody. "How much I love you Cody. How much I want you, it shouldn't be happening and it did, and I don't want to stop it," she looks away again. Her voice is a little choked and she doesn't want him to see her cry. "Does that make me a bad Jedi?" she whispers somberly.

Cody understands what she is feeling. When Obi-wan was missing, and then returned gravely injured, it had twisted his heart. It took everything for him to remain a logical commander in that situation. The love he felt for Barris was illegal both ways. Even though he was really only eleven, he had the body and mind of a twenty-one year old man. He didn't know how old Barris was, but she was definitely younger than twenty-one. Seventeen maybe? And yet the things he wanted to do with her…

"Tonight Barris, just tonight, why don't we both forget about the rules?" Cody offered, taking her hand. A small sad smiled appeared on her face.

"Let your hair down?" Cody leaned in and pulled the cloth from her forehead. Her purple locks splayed over her shoulders, long and silky.

"Something like that," and this time Barris leaned in and kissed him first. It was supposed to be soft and gentle, but it ended with Barris pinned against the floor and Cody's flight suit pulled down to his waist. Cody was kissing her neck and Barris was whimpering, arching her back and pressing their chests together. Barris's skirt was lost in the tangle of fabric. She wore leggings and a tight shirt but that was really just like skin. Cody's fingers were working trying to get it off.

"Not, here," she gasped and Cody stopped. He pulled away slowly and Barris took in the sight. His skin was shimmering in the light highlighting all his muscles. His pupils had dilated so they were just black pools. His hands gripped her waist and pulled her to her feet, planting kisses all over her face. She laughed gently at the slight touches and pulled up his flight suit, forcing him back into the gray fabric.

"Only for a little while," she whispered seductively in his ear. "Then I'll take you out." Her words sent shivers of anticipation down his spine. He helped her back into her skirt and hair pieces. Then they began the sneak back to her quarters. It was a game, trying not to be seen by any one. After a heart pounding minute when Obi-wan himself had walked past them in an adjoining hall way and Barris had to physically keep Cody from standing at attention and saluting the general affectively giving away their position. Once they got back to her room and the door was closed, Cody's blood was pumping but that meant he was thinking.

And he was thinking this was wrong. Barris was behind him and she unzipped his flight suit, and it fell down around his ankles. Now he was only wearing the standard issue black boxers that might as well have been paint they were so damn _tight_. That wasn't the issue now however. The issue was the Padawan trying to get them off.

He didn't want to stop, he wanted to go further. But his common sense was stopping him, his love for Barris. Kissing was one thing but-

Barris was high on desire. She wanted him, and it her sleep deprived state there was nothing to stop her from getting him. She was thrilled when they finally got back to her quarters. She fumbled with the zipper of his flight suit until the gray fabric pooled around his feet. She ignored how much her fingers were shaking and how fast her breath was coming.

It was a sight to behold. The muscles in his back rippled as he turned to her. He was a perfect V, lower back slipping effortlessly into slim hips and a gorgeous butt. His legs were just as evenly muscled as the rest of his body. And his arms, she bit her lip as they wrapped around her, fingers sensuously moving over her skin burning her. There was a hesitance there, and indirectness in his gaze. So she reached down and slipped her fingers beyond the hem of his boxers. His breath hitched and the words he was about to utter died on his lips. Instead a moan echoed from his chest.

"Barris," he moaned as she pushed him toward the bed. His fingers disagreed with the tone of his voice as they tugged at her clothes.

"Shh Cody," she was emboldened by his reaction to her touch. Nothing would stop her now.

"Barris we can't-"and he groaned again. He cursed himself for his weakness. Finally though he managed to grab her shoulders and pull her away.

"Stop," Barris looked into his eyes, his beautiful eyes and saw the pleading there. She stopped pulling away sinking into herself.

"You don't want to." She backed away sinking on to her bed, not even realizing she was wearing just a little more than Cody. She held her head in her hands and stared at the floor.

"No, it's not that," he said and she felt him sit next to her. His hand touched her back but it wasn't what it had been before.

"It is that Cody. I mean I am _green._ And look at you. Your beautiful."

"Barris, look at me," she complied slowly, hair falling in one eye. "I want to take you more than anything. The problem is that it's not right. It's not fair to you. What if you got pregnant? Then what would happen?"

"Can you even get me pregnant?" she whispered with a faint smile that quickly disappeared.

"That is something we need to find out. And I promise Barris that if the answer is no," he kissed her with feverish passion, but it was too short. His breath was hot in her ear and fingers even more so on the curve of her butt. "I will show you things no one has shown you before." Then he was gone and she was alone. For a while she was glad,

Because that way he couldn't see her cry.

* * *

**So what did you think? I hoped I did a good job showing the emotion. I don't really have much to say except I have mid-terms soon so updates may be even slower… sorry. **

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	9. Teaser to Real Chapter 9

**Warning:this is ridiciliously short and just a teaser into the next chapter but i felt it was extremly important and deserved it's own chapter. it shows what Barris is going through and explains her actions through out the fic. i'll give all credit for reviews in the real chapter being uploaded on friday or saturday depending on my schedual**

Barris didn't sleep that night. She experienced her own breed of torture. She'd spent many a sleepless nights in her life time and this was nothing new. Usually however they were because she had been wrapped in a book about the wonders of the galaxy at the temple or studying something all night. More recently in her life it had been because she had been on missions of high importance that involved sneaking around dangerous planets in the dark. Barris knew the signs of a sleepless night and this was going to be one of them. She wasn't going to waste her time meditating. She had done enough of that lately. She was going to think in the seclusion of her quarters until she was called to battle.

Naturally her thoughts went to Commander Cody. This time, they were not fantasies or examining his inner and outer beauty. It was just Cody and everything about him. Barris started at the beginning of his life. What did she know?

She had been to Kamino once. There was no land on the storm ravished planet. Just endless blood freezing sea and somber gray clouds. And the rain. The constant endless down pour that washed the spirit even out the strongest of souls. It ceaselessly tapped on the metal domes of the cloning facilities. It was never loud enough to be bothersome or drown out conversation but it was always there. This constant droning that after even a few hours seemed to swell and consume you like the beating of a million nervous hearts. After that the silence of space and been unsettling. That was not the worst of the place. The rain was nowhere near the worst thing. Little boys no older than younglings had this look about them. Their faces were already hardened into masks and their eyes steel. They walked and talked and acted with military precision. Their mothers were the warm loving embrace of military precision and their fathers were simulated combat. They never knew the warm touch of a hand or and encouraging word. That was not protocol in GAR. They were forced to grow at an unnatural rate so they would be ready for battle faster. The growing pangs would be doubled tenfold their emotions thrown out of control with the unnatural hormones injected into her systems. Through all this they were trained like dogs to follow orders and not think for themselves. This was the only part of training from what she had seen was not as effective as those on Kamino had hoped. The brothers still strived to stand out, to be different.

Not that she was complaining, but her life hadn't been so great either, especially her childhood. Barris had been born on a cruiser in deep space and immediately after her birth was taken to the Jedi temple for training. In other words her parents had handed her over to the Jedi temple with big smiles and no complaint. They wanted to get rid of her. Then she grew up around the empty faces of Jedi who could feel no attachment. They cared for her but they didn't love her. They weren't her parents. She was brought up on books and the force and the Jedi arts. Luminara had been there through it all. Early on she had followed her like a shadow. Now she realized that it must have been extremely annoying to the knight but she rarely snapped at her. Luminara had been both her older sister and her parents.

Not much of a substitute when you knew the rigid Jedi as well as Barris did.

She had been ostracized by those not of the temple. Sometimes even within the temple for her studious habits and how she acted. She always tried her hardest and sometimes she was glared at for it. Sometimes her things would go missing for her achievements. Sometimes an unseen foot would stick out in the street as she walked by. This was the early days. They wouldn't dare the second a lightsaber rested obviously at her hip. Like all Jedi living with love, without brothers, without the camaraderie and friends you are allowed to die for. That's why they meditated and through themselves into the force. It allowed them to feel a part of something bigger, something greater than themselves something that would always be theirs to love and to be loved with.

Because when they left the loneliness almost killed them.

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	10. Chapter 910

"Padawan Offee, please report to the bridge for briefing," Obi-wan's voice sputtered from her communicator. "We are nearing Geonosis."

"I will be there momentarily," Barris replied curtly and uncurled her body from the bed. Her bones snapped audibly as she stretched. She reached her elegant fingers to the ceiling and then bent over and placed her palms flat on the floor. She twisted her spine around both directions and cracked her knuckles. She felt conceivably looser and much better equipped for the short force run she was going to take. It was time for her to face her fears and rescue her master. She jogged in place for a moment and then entered the hall. She let her feet pound onto the sound dampened metal plastic compound at she proceeded to where her superiors waited. She had run on GAR cruisers so often she needn't look where she was going, and she ran between the lanes where clones walked so she need not worry about careening crazily into them and toppling over and a pile of twisted limbs.

_Hopefully Cody will be in the briefing meeting…_ This time she let her thoughts surface and then gently pushed them away again. She was not going to deny it any longer. She was infatuated with the commander and nothing was going to change it. After brooding over her stance as a Jedi she realized she wasn't traveling any father into the dark side by loving Cody. If anything he was anchoring her in the light. He was a stunning silhouette against the brightness that gripped her hand and pulled her up into radiance. He was beauty and all that was wonderful in her life. She needed him and she admitted it to her heart finally. It was a necessary step because she might not come back from this mission. At least she had loved someone.

Cody knew the briefing was in a few minutes and it would be necessary for him to get up _now _if he was going to make it on time. All his training was screaming at him and mando'a to get his lazy shebs out of bed. But he hadn't slept all that much last night, actually almost none at all. He had laid awake staring at the dura-plastic gray bunk above him and thinking. Thinking wasn't usually recommended for clone brothers late at night because strange thoughts stirred things that no loyal soldier should even consider, let alone mull over and dissect in great detail. Cody's mind had pondered the usual philosophies of this war and the lost lives of so many brothers under his command, not under his command too. The battle of Teth was an example of these horrors. All of Rex's men excluding five brothers and the captain himself had perished at the monastery. All of them. He couldn't even being to contemplate the torture Rex must had experienced following that battle. Yet he still laughed and joked and put up with Skywalker's antics. He still followed orders and that, Cody thought, was the ultimate show of a soldier's commitment and loyalty to the republic. He could ignore Anakin and his crazy plans that always seemed to work, but with extreme loss of life. He could have gone AWOL or staged an MIA. But he didn't. He stayed and fought a war that wasn't theirs. But really, what else could a clone do? If you left and someone saw your face, you were branded as a traitor and a deserter without a second thought. So you couldn't leave, there was no life Outside.

Last night his thoughts had turned in a lighter direction. Barris was the one bright point in his life of dull white and bright red, the one thing that was all his and his alone. He loved her, and she loved him back. This was the first time he had ever experienced this. There was a love between his brothers, something that connected them all in an unbreakable web. That was love too, but it was different. That love allowed you to shove them playfully and punch them in the jaw if they got on your nerves and play a good round of poker with them once and a while. His love for Barris was much gentler. She was soft and fragile and innocent. He wanted to protect her. He found himself restating things he had thought about before. But new fantasies had been coursing through his mind. New and different things. These images betrayed his earlier statement that they would wait. He found himself wanting to get up and go back to Barris's room and take everything back. He wanted to ravish her.

Barris's had to be at the briefing meeting right? That got him standing up and zipping up his flight suit. He snapped his armor into place with the ease and speed of long practice. In fewer than thirty second he had his bucket under one arm and was proceeding calmly toward the location of the meeting. He would be right on time and then he would get to see her again. Barris.

She actually arrived early to the meeting, the only one there the admiral and they exchanged nods but nothing else. Obi-wan and Anakin were walking around the corner as she waited. The second looked disheveled and was trying to hold back a yawn. Obi-wan looked as neat trimmed as always. Obi-wan had gotten a haircut it seemed. Anakin obviously hadn't, the man's hair was much longer than she had ever seen it. Maybe the senator form Naboo liked it that way.

"Good morning Masters," she said and nodded politely. They both nodded back but only Obi-wan responded with and actual hello. Cody arrived behind the generals. Her eyes were riveted as she tried to stare without being obvious. Their eyes met for a moment and Barris was sucked into their vortex. She then let her gaze flick away, lowering her head and pretending to be busy with the holoprojector table in front of her. A small smile appeared at the corner of her mouth.

Cody was relieved when Barris smiled after they gazed at each other. She wasn't furious with him. Rex and Ahsoka stumbled in after, both looking dazed and a little disoriented. Rex's armor was on a little crooked and Ahsoka's dress was a little mussed. Her belt seemed to be on upside down. It was only noticeable to a man used to picking out details. When everyone had the same face, you got used to it.

"We will now commence the meeting, since we have all arrived." Obi-wan threw a pointed glance at the pair but they didn't seem to notice. Rex had jammed his bucket on his head to hide. Ahsoka had no means to hide her kiss swollen lips.

"We believe Luminara to be held in this secret separatist base recently discovered here," Anakin zooms in the planet's hologram and points to the glowing red shape which they all take to be the base. "It would be in the republics favor to capture the base, as well as rescue Luminara. So we will launch a full scale attack here with you, Master, at the head. You will have most of my troops as well. I will launch the air raid along with a small portion of both the 501st and the 7th Sky Corps. They have heavy air-to-ground artillery, so I will only accept volunteers for this mission. I will not have more men needlessly massacred," Barris turned to Anakin with surprise. He was going to throw himself into an almost unwinnable air battle with minimal troops? He was going on a _suicide_ mission? There was grim determination in his eyes. Barris saw that Obi-wan wanted to protest this but kept his mouth in a firm line. His face said we-are-going-to-have-a-conversation-about-this-in-private. "Though Obi-wan you are merely a distraction. Barris, Ahsoka, and Cody, you will be infiltrating the base with an elite group of troopers. You will find Luminara and then destroy the reactors. Hopefully in that order," It's a weak joke. No one laughs. This is a little too close to the last mission like this Barris and Ahsoka had on Geonosis. They had been buried under three tons of rubble trying to destroy the reactor core. They had of course, but not very cleanly.

"Where am I sir?" that was Rex, asking through his helmet.

"You are going with Obi-wan," Anakin said. Now he was protecting Rex?

"But-"

"You are not a pilot Rex, and you would die up in the air. I can't have that," Rex stared back at Anakin for a few moments, as if judging his strength on his position. Finally Rex stood.

"I will go inform the troops," Rex says and he is gone. Cody stands to follow his brother. He gives Barris one final smile and then he is gone too. Ahsoka and Obi-wan are both looking at Anakin and Barris knows when she is not wanted. She stands and leaves. They barely notice. She doesn't leave ear shot though. She leans against the wall and just _happens_ to overhear.

"Master, you can't do this!" Ahsoka says. There is desperation in her voice.

"If you are to live Ahsoka, I must. Now go, Obi-wan want's to speak to me alone."

"Master…"

"Please Ahsoka," his voice cracks. Barris presses against the wall as Ahsoka's footsteps echo by.

"Anakin I can't let you do this. You are going to die," he hisses. Barris peaks her head around the corner, interested now. All her perceptions were being proven wrong in the last minutes. Anakin was sitting on one of the chairs, slouched forward, head resting on his knee, arm hanging down. It was a pitiful sight really.

"And if I do?" he said softly. Obi-wan sat beside him and put an arm around his padawan's shoulders.

"You will join the force like all Jedi," and then almost silently, "I don't know how I'd survive it." Anakin turns to his master, pain his blue eyes.

"I'm sorry Master. I'm sorry for all the times I've jeopardized missions, and your safety, and the men's safety, and Ahsoka's safety. All the times I've messed up," this is the first time Barris has ever heard Anakin seem, well, sad. And almost… weak? "Now I think I've made a mistake no one can fix."

That's when Barris leaves. She doesn't want to hear any more, because indirectly, Ahsoka will be hearing it.

The gun ship was crowded with soldiers as they approach the surface. They are going to feign being shot down and crash behind the base. Then they would climb through the waste water tunnels and into the facilities. It was going to be an extremely rough landing, and Cody was a little worried about Barris. He knew he shouldn't be, she was a Jedi and all, but still. She was so soft under his hands…He suddenly felt the need to slap himself out of it. It was going to affect him on the mission if he didn't clear his head. So he put his soldier face on under his helmet and turns his HDU from Barris face to straight ahead where Ahsoka stands under a Jedi cloak. It makes her look much more mature and menacing. Adding shadow and years to her ginger face. It had the same haunting effect on Barris. The gravity of the situation increased as explosions began rocking the ship. A red light turned on in the hold and slats covered the hole which revealed the beige dust that covered this entire forsaken planet.

Barris's heart pounded faster in her chest as the pilot announced they would commence the crash landing. A small smoke canister was activated on the wings, followed by two in the engines. A high pitched whining sound could be heard even inside the closed compartment. A real explosion thundered in the nearby atmosphere and the gun ship faltered for a moment before continuing its fake careen towards the distant sand. Luminara was in that fortress. What torture was she enduring due to the impending Republic attack? Where were they holding her? There were so many unanswered questions. Her life had become one big puzzle with thousands of missing pieces. She didn't have much time to few sorry for herself. There was a jolt worthy of losing a few teeth. There were a few muffled shouts as troopers toppled over in a chaotic mass of white limbs. Only through the force were Barris and Ahsoka able to remain upright. Cody was actually thrown into her, and she supported him for a few moments before the ship grinded to a halt in the ground. Then she righted him and they helped pull troopers to their feet. With military organization they grabbed the insulated packs loaded with charges. Each person got one, including the Ahsoka and Barris. This way there would be no repeat of the disaster the last time they had blown something up on Geonosis. The pilots appeared in the hall way as their chairs descended from the cock pits. They grabbed the clone dummies from the storage crates and loaded them into the seats, sending them back to cockpits. Presumed dead, the easiest way to live.

"Okay men, it's time to go. Let's do this!" Ahsoka shouted and pumped her fist into the air. Her energy was catching and she had all the troopers shouting with her. In her excitement her hood had fallen back and revealed eyes glowing with anticipation. Her face glowed with the adrenalin of the upcoming fight. She was like a warrior goddess. Barris was a little jealous of her ability to rev up an entire team with barely a sentence, but Barris didn't really mind. Grudges and jealousy were not the Jedi way. _Love wasn't either, and that didn't stop you_ an annoying voice whispers somewhere inside her head. _Shut up_, she replies and adorns her own pack. With the force she flings the door open. Just as planed not one hundred and fifty meters away is as bluff where the access sewage hatch was. The troopers in their camo gear unload and begin their sprint across the ground. Stirring up minimal dust so the vulture droids patrolling the sky will not notice the disturbance. Barris waits until the last man is left until she takes a step to follow. Then with a stroke of what she believes to be genius she takes out two charges from her pack and sets them on engines of the ship. She cinq's them to her communicator and begins her sprint. She ducks and rolls into the crowd of soldiers and presses the activation button. The gun ship explodes behind them.

"Wow Barris," Ahsoka says with a huge explosion euphoria induced grin. "I would not expect you to think of blowing something up to cover our tail." Barris just shrugs and allows herself a small smile.

"I'm feeling a little… aggravated today," and to her surprise it brings chuckles to the troopers. She smiles in return to the unexpected encouragement. So they do approve of her. Not once they see how they're going in. She turns to the ancient looking grate and activates her lightsaber, cutting through the corroded and lichen stained metal like it was air. It falls with an ominous thump into the dust, setting up a small cloud that caused Barris to cough. Then the stench wafted from inside metal tube and she gagged. Ahsoka turned green and Barris turned red as a little bit of maroon slime dripped from the gaping maw. One audacious trooper spoke up,

"We are going in _there_?"

"Yep!" Ahsoka said with a forced grin and jumped right in. The tunnel was perfect height for her, but the rest of them would have to stoop. "It's not as bad in here!" her voice bounced off the riveted walls and came back a hundred times. Barris sucked in a breath, pinched her nose, and chanted that it was for her master to herself and entered the cavern. She met up with Ahsoka, the trail a head of them lit by the troopers head lamps as they followed their commanders. Ahsoka's boots were in a patch of royal purple sludge with chunks of lovely green… something. Quietly so no one else could hear it she mumbled next to Ahsoka's ear.

"This is your idea of better?"

"It smells better than the red stuff," she says with a big grin. Then she proceeds to splash ahead. Cody comes up beside me, his head lamps lighting the path to the base.

"We have a long walk ahead of us Commander, we best be going."

The journey through the tunnels of muck was arduous and disgusting. All the strange experiments done here must have led to the rainbow sludge painting everything. Barris had decided not to imagine the monsters they had been creating. Now she was under her grate, her exit into the detention block. The troops would all be going with Ahsoka to the reactor room. That is where the forces would be. Barris really wanted to bring Cody with her, but they were on a mission.

"I'll contact you if I find Luminara," Barris said to Ahsoka. She smiled and gripped her friend's hands.

"When, Barris, when. And I'll contact you when the charges are set," Ahsoka says so surely.

"We'll escape together," Barris replies. Then she turns to Cody. There is so much she wishes to say to the yellow and white helmet. Just see his eyes one last time before she goes. But all they can share is,

"Good bye Commander Cody,"

"Good luck Commander Offee," and she presses her hands to the grate and shoves it to the side, jumping lightly through the opening. Gently she covers it, and the last thing she sees is the black T of Cody's visor, staring at her like the pupil of a dragon. Then even that is gone and she is alone in enemy territory. Barris stands and takes in her surroundings. She seems to be in a lab. Beakers of filled with oozing liquid and tubes with glowing energy. Droid parts littered the counters and she was surrounded by chemical stains where failed experiments had been tossed down the drain. Careful not to touch what was surely poison she danced out of the tiled pit and into the glass windowed room. The lights were off, hiding her from the droid guard that marched by. The scientist who had occupied this lab had probably fled to the bunker when the attack had started. After their metallic feet had faded into the distance Barris exited the lab. If the building schematics had been correct the detention block should be down the hall to the left.

On force quieted feet she danced down the hall, not touching the ground enough to set of motion sensors that could be in the floor. Her green face peaked around the edge of the next corner and took in the two battle droids that were guarding the door where in obvious letters Detention Block A was written. She could sense her master, she was near. She found it a little pathetic that they only had two battle droids guarding the doors. She searched the dark corner beside the wall and found a loose bolt. Weighing the metal object in her hand she let it slide between her fingers. She caught it with the force and concentrated, levitating the small object and moving it toward the droids. Then with a flick of her wrist she flung the bolt into the first droids head.

"Ow!" it said in its robotic voice that somehow remained nasally. It turned to its companion. "Hey! Why did you do that?"

"What?" said the second yellow robot scratching its metal head.

"Hit me!" said the first one.

"I didn't hit you!" the second one replied.

"If you didn't hit me then who-" it said as it turned back to the hall way. The droid had time to shout "Jedi!" before it and its companion were beheaded. In the process the alarm button remained untouched. She dragged the aluminum bodies after her, so no one passing by would think something was amiss. Barris entered the dark detention zone, and the door slid shut behind her. Running now without stopping she flew blindly passed cells. Her Master was close, and she let the force guide her to Luminara. She was careful to memorize her way through the corridors. Barris would need to get out once she found her master. All the halls looked the same, dark gray floor, lighter gray walls punctuated by iron gray doors with white numbers that glowed eerily in the twilight. During attacks the Separatists conserved energy by shutting down all unnecessary functions.

Barris was so close now. Her heart thrummed in her chest just as alarms blared to life. Something must have happened. She quickened her feet and paid the surrounding area no mind as cell A52 came into view. She halted, her boots skidding on the slippery floor. A control panel blinked to the left of the door. Barris didn't have the code, but she didn't need it. With a swish her azure lightsaber came into being. She plunged it into the operating unit and it sparked for a moment. There was a sickening thump and Barris winced. The door slid open and she saw her master crumpled on the floor. A cry almost escaped her lips, but she snapped her teeth together and bit it off. She was alive, that was all that mattered. Her condition could be dealt with later.

Barris hopped down the steps leading into the torture facility and slung Luminara's arm over one shoulder.

"Barris…" she mumbled.

"It's all right master. We are getting you out of here," she said with false cheer. She had expected her to be in bad shape, but not this.

"Thank you, Barris," she mumbled again.

"Don't thank me yet Master," Barris said as she practically dragged Luminara up the few steps. The door opened, but didn't reveal a blank hall way.

"Blast the Jedi!" one of those idiot Battle droids said and pointed. The circle of Super battle droids obliged the command. Barris just had enough time to throw her and her master out of the door way. Red laser fire ripped the torture equipment to shreds and blackened the back wall. Barris slouched her master up against the wall, who had lost consciousness during the fall. With an activated lightsaber she threw herself into the fray, taking out the command droid first and proceeding through the rest easily. It was just a little too easy. Down both corridors rolled Destroyer droids. They came to a halt at the edge of the wreckage and began to fire. Immediately Barris went into over drive, throwing herself back into the cell to keep from gaining a few extra holes in her torso. The fire ricocheted off the deflector shields but the pair did not damage its twin. They would not be able to proceed over the pile of scrap parts, so then what? They would just sit there and shoot until the base exploded? Barris might be able to get around the back of one, but there was so little room to maneuver in the hall it would be suicidal.

She realized there was no other choice. With a deep breath she rolled into the hall, jumped off the wall and did a neat flip over the back of the Destroyer. In the process her left arm got hit, but she barely felt the pain as adrenal surged through her veins. She stuck her lightsaber into its back and shoved it with the force into its twin. The molten scrap heap that resulted blocked the way Barris had come, but she recognized this base design and knew the corridors were like a set of squares. She could make it back to the entrance. She picked her way through the debris and back into the cell. Her master was still deaf to the world, so she hefted her up and pulled one arm around her shoulder. Good thing she was tall and strong for all those years of training, or she would have never been able to lift her. With a grunt Barris began the walk. It went by ten times slower than the run had. Adrenalin slowed time down around her and the pain in her upper arm began to make its self-known. All the while she tried not to jostle her master in her severely injured state. Finally, the door came into view the two droids she had deactivated pushed haphazardly the side. A second alarm started blaring and Barris's com crackled to life.

"B-Barris-ssss," the voice was disjointed and broken. They were trying to jam their signal. "Gen-gen-rators,… Tra…p!" And the line went totally dead. "Ahsoka!" Barris shouted into the com. "Ahsoka!" Another, much clearer, voice came over the com. "Commander Offee, this is Snake Eyes, we have a problem."

"What is it?" she asked with heavy breath, Pulling Luminara over her shoulders once again and going as fast as she could toward the reactor rooms. They were also on the bottom floor, thank goodness. She could never make it up the stairs with her master slung over her back.

"Both Commander Tano and Commander Cody have been trapped inside the reactor room. All our efforts have failed in trying to open the door, and Tano's lightsaber has not made an attempt to cut threw. We believe they are under siege," all her worst fears realized. Her best friend and her love, trapped and about to be executed. Maybe they would hold a hostage negotiation for Ahsoka, but they would just kill Cody. She could not let that happen.

"Blast," she swore under her breath.

"That's not all Commander. The door is hot and smoke is seeping out the vents. The reactor is on fire," her world just caught flame. Everything was going wrong. She could smell it now, melted plastic, molten metal, and fear. The thrum in the atmosphere filled her ears and he mouth like suffocating cotton. A group of droids came around the corner. She didn't even give them time to shout Jedi. With a wave of her hand they flew back in a force blast, their own blaster bolts turning them to scrap.

The next hall was where the double doors to the reactor room were. The clones stood there, looking dispirited. The one she took to be Snake eyes with yellow eyes painted on his helmet turned to her. She didn't even give him time to say anything. She handed Luminara to him and activated her lightsaber, running it through the door and creating a circle. She shoved it forward with her foot and it toppled into the room. Smoke immediately began pouring out of the room and poisoning her lungs. The heat was awful, she felt it cooking her skin and drying her eyes. She pulled fabric over mouth and turned to the group.

"Wait here,"

"Yes commander, good luck," Barris nodded and plunged into the cavernous space.

In here the alarms seemed distant. Flames roared and cackled, laughing at the feeble creatures trying to defy them. Too bad the reactors were fire proof then their job would be so much easier. The once cold iron room glowed in hellish shades of red and orange. A metal support came careening down from the ceiling, screeching and creating more sparks were it scratched the wall. Barris dodged the massive amount of falling slag and scanned the smoke poisoned room for Ahsoka and Cody. It was the ghoulish shadows of battle droids that revealed them to be on the other side of the reactors. Barris hoped the mesh walkways would hold and not liquefy under her feet. She didn't really want to fall to her death. She'd rather burn. Around the other side Ahsoka was surrounded by destroyer droids. There was a large platform and access units over here. It was obviously the main entrance, had been, more precisely. The fire wasn't as ravenous over hear, but it licked down from the ceiling. She caught the sight of a soot stained set of armor trapped under a girder. He couldn't be… dead? He wasn't in danger right now if he was just unconscious. If he was… well he was beyond her help.

Jedi duties first, she needed to help Ahsoka. As she watched the young padawan suffered a lower leg wound, throwing her to her knees and causing her lightsaber to skitter across the floor. Barris Jumped from her perch above and landed on one of the Destroyers, turning its circuits to molten metal. She flipped off the back and shoved it forward with the force. Both smashed into the opposite wall promptly catching on fire. Two down, eight to go. Ahsoka had gained her lightsaber back in the commotion but was still unable to stand. At least she could defend herself. With the circle broken it was easier to dispose of the remaining Destroyers. The sparking jittering remains collapsed among the smithereens that were once other droids. Barris goes to Ahsoka to help her stand. The girl is practically in tear, and Barris has never seen Ahsoka cry.

"I'm so sorry," she blubbers as Barris tosses her a pole she can use as a crutch. "I was fighting the droids, trying to keep him alive while he set the charges, and I didn't notice the ceiling begin to cave in. He shoved me out of the way and he was trapped and I couldn't even check on him because all those destroyers showed up-"

"Ahsoka, set the charges rest of the charges and get out of here! I'll get Cody to safety! He is alive, I would know if he was dead!" she shouted over the roar. Barris realized that it was true. He had to be alive or she would be dead too because there would be no heart in her chest to beat.

The girls smoke and ash stained face nodded. Then she disappeared into the smoke. Barris sprinted back to Cody. She wanted to fall apart when she saw him. His back armor was cracked, and probably most of his ribs. His left arm was at an awful angle. With a deep breath she managed to clear her mind. Gently the mass of steel lifted off Cody. She tossed it behind him. Drained, she hoped she could heal him. He was going to need it if he was going to live. Quickly, she removed his chest plate. The body suit underneath was burned and torn and revealed massive bruising. Barris bit her lip and peeled it back gently. Cody moaned but did not awaken. She closed her eyes and began the process. If anyone had been watching they would have seen her hands glow a soft blue as they moved over Cody's body. She moved ribs back into their correct places and fixed shattered bones. The brain trauma he had sustained was fixed in mere seconds. Then, she ran out. Barris practically collapsed with exhaustion and came back to this world. It would have to do.

Then she found he was too heavy for her to lift. Not deterred, she wrapped her arms under his torso and _dragged_ him toward his brothers. She would _not_ give up. They would _not_ take Cody. There was no force to aid her now, she was too exhausted. Only pure will kept Cody moving through the mesh walkways and over the near molten ground and through a wall of fire that singed Barris's clothes and turned Cody's armor near black. With one last desperate pull she dragged him in front of the hole. White gloved hands of his Ghost Squadron dragged him through. Barris stumbled after, probably a terrible sight in shades of black, gray, and burnt.

"Alive," she choked out, smoke in her exhale. She saw Ahsoka slumped against the wall next to Luminara, semi-conscious. Her eyes closed when she heard the news and a small smile fainted on her lips. In her hands she clutched the detonator. Barris took that from her limp fingers.

"We need to go. NOW," that was Snake Eyes again.

"I agree. Let's go troops," and almost instantaneously they were off. One man to Luminara, one man to Ahsoka, and two to Cody. That left two with the ability to take down the droids they met in one of the hall ways. They did so quite efficiently. It went smooth until Barris's leg gave out when she was hit in the back by a semi-molten ceiling tile. They couldn't spare any men to carry her. They were a floor away from the exit.

"Go!" she said. "I'll heal myself and follow you. Com me when you're out of range,"

"But-"

"That is an _order_!" she shouted. Snake eyes nodded, and with one look over his shoulder, they turned the corner and were out of sight. Barris managed to roll over and cut through the material pinning her to the ground. The ceiling tile split in half and using her arms she pulled herself against the wall into a sitting position. She looked to the ceiling, tears entering her eyes. Escape was only a floor away. She was so close! Yet she could not stand, let alone walk. She stared at the detonator in her hands. They would win this battle. There was no decision to make.

As she waited for the all clear call she thought about Cody. He would live. The one thing she regretted was never seeing his eyes again. There beautiful ever shifting vortex that would suck her in and never let her go. She regretted never having sex, but he had been right. She had touched every inch of his skin though. And she loved him. She had learned love.

"We are clear Commander," it was snake eyes. Barris heard Ahsoka in the distance, between her coughs.

"Barris? Where are you? What is going on?"

"Tell Cody I love him," and Barris pressed the detonation button. There was a rumble deep in the Base. It grew louder and louder until it was thunder. She heard a crash two floors down, one floor down.

Fire.

Pain.

Red.

Pain.

Black.

Nothing.

_I'm evil, I realize. This is a really painful place to end the chapter, but I need to keep you coming back for more! I know I said I'd post this yesterday, but as you can see by the length it took a long time for me to right. See I have a condition called SOS. LongLivetheClones introduced it to me. It is otherwise known as Shiny Object Syndrome. I get easily distracted. Don't expect a lot of long chapters in the near future; school is kicking into high gear. I'd really appreciate reviews, because I put a lot of effort into this. They don't even need to be good things! I am begging again… _

_I GIVE TONS OF THANKS TO _

_**TamachanKICK**_

_**rabitxwriter**_

_**AuroraLunar0Love This0**_

_**Queen**_

_**Canadiancloneluver**_

_**theclonescastev102**_

_**Blades252 **_

_~YOU BLAST MY WORLD~ or something like that…. I'm not sure the exact expression _

_PLEASE REVIEW! _


	11. Chapter 11

White.

Pain.

White.

Numb.

White.

Scream.

Nothing.

Everything around her is blurry and fuzzed at the edges. Her body pounds with the sound of a million hearts. Thousands of mallets batter the inside of her skin. Rusty iron wire has replaced her muscles. Her mouth is filled with metal bearings and they roll down her throat, choking her. The organ that was once a stomach twists itself into complicated knots it cannot undo. Her eyes feel glued to the inside of their lids. She tries to move her fingers, and the pain that sears through her arm opens her mouth and she screams. Out of the haze of torture comes a sharp sting like the bite of an insect. Then there is nothing.

Black.

White.

"Put her through, put her through!" The frantic shouts penetrate her conscious. Sort of. She really doesn't understand what's going on. Trying to remember a time when she understood what was going on makes her hurt. But she already hurts, so why should it matter? She hurts everywhere. La la la, ouch, la, ouch, ouch. Everything is white, all white. The walls are white; the people around her yelling are covered in white. The edges of her vision are white. La la la. She tries to hold her hands in front of her face, to see if they are white too. But when they don't appear in front of her face she trys to scowl, and when she doesn't scowl she gets mad, but when she doesn't get mad she decides to sing some more. But she doesn't even notice that she doesn't sing. La la la ouch. La ouch. La la la. She wants to ask the man with the pretty eyes staring at her face if he wants to sing with me. His mouth is moving and he keep glancing away from me and moving his mouth more frantically. Then he's back. His armor is white and yellow. His eyes are so pretty. So, so, so pretty. She wants to giggle. Her brow furrows at the word. Giggle? But when her brow doesn't furrow and she doesn't remember she just sings some more. La, ouch, ouch, ouch. It hurts too much to think.

But then a sudden prick provided something sharp and clear to focus on in the dull ache of her world. It flipped a switch in her brain. But the sudden flood of coherent thought told her it was drugs. Drugs to remove shock. And then the pain came. A tidal wave of emotional, physiological, and physical pain swamped her. Her mouth opened for real this time. And a scream escaped to set ears ringing and teeth chattering and hair standing and spines tingling.

"Shut her up!" There was another prick and she was singing again.

Yellow.

She faded back into consciousness once or twice throughout the week. Two bright gray eyes had been staring at her once. Another time she had woken up to an empty ward. But as soon as the screaming started, the puncture returned and the darkness over took her.

Gray.

Finally she awoke for real. Her eye lids creaked open and she groaned. The act hurt her chest and she immediately regretted it. The light was blinding, and it took a few moments for her pupils to shrink to the appropriate size. She found herself looking at a white ceiling. How had she…?

The accident came flooding back to her mind and she let out a whimper, squeezing her eyes shut to try and block out the images. The rumble had grown deafening and the bolts that had snapped beneath her. The metal wall had exploded outwards and the fire had raged down the hall way. She had been thrown against the opposite wall, crushed beneath the same floor she had been sitting on not moments before. Her hurt leg had twisted the opposite way it had only a few minutes before the explosion. There had been a sickening crunch as her arm was pulverized. The worst had been the whip lash on her spine. There had been a snap and then the horrible numbness that spread through her legs. She didn't have long to suffer the feeling. Flames had flickered upon deaf ears and she had felt the heat blister her skin. She remembers feeling like a plant, once green and sweet then trampled by running feet and shriveled by heat. For once something that wasn't her body had creaked and there had been a blinding flash in her skull. Silence and peace had engulfed her in blissful emptiness

It had all taken less than five seconds. She had prepared herself for death so being snatched back to life where breathing was torture was almost cruel. It was worth it though.

"Barris?" a slurred voice questioned. Barris opened her eyes and blinked a few times. Standing above her a sleep disheveled Cody yawned and rubbed exhaustion from his eyes. Black circles were like new tattoos on his gaunt face. He looked a little sick, but he was alive.

"C-Co-dy," she managed to choke out without out actually choking. The pain was immense. Relief flooded Cody's face; softening its new planes. He looked more like his old self.

"Oh Barris," he said softly, his fingers are even softer on her face. He pressed what felt like gauze into her skin. "Why are you so selfless?" She tried to speak again but failed miserably. It was just too painful. He shook his head, telling her it was okay not to speak. "Why do you do things like that?" He wasn't accusing, his voice was soft. "Why would you waste all your strength healing just another clone?" Barris wanted to scream at him for saying something like that. He was not just another clone. None of his brothers were just another clone. All she managed to do was shake her head a little. He sighed again, and a small, sad smile ghosted on his lips. His fingers brushed softly against what was left of her charred hair.

There was a faint swish and the door to the ward opened. Cody turned and Barris felt a pang of guilt when she saw the bandages that extended from his jaw under his armor and the angry burn that peaked from beneath. His sling was also revealed in more detail. When the clone doctor saw Barris was awake he slumped a little in reprieve. Was she really that bad? She realized why he was so relieved when he turned and spoke to Cody. He was practically on his knees begging when he said,

"See, she's awake. Now, will you go?" Cody just narrowed his eyes and shifted his jaw. Suddenly he was a towering threat. It was a side she rarely saw of Cody except in battle. The doctor shied away and mumbled, "Just thought I'd ask." What had Cody done to get himself cleared to wait by her bedside for her to awaken? Wasn't that just a tad suspicious? When his eyes turned back to her the gray ice immediately melted and swirled murky for a moment before clearing and turning a soft brown. Barris still wondered how his eyes did that. Rex's were similar from what Ahsoka said, but Barris still thought Cody's were more beautiful.

Now, her Commander needed to get some rest. She put on her best motherly look and narrowed her eyes just a little. Being commanding didn't go so well when she couldn't lift a hand against him. Or a finger, or a toe for that matter. Cody seemed to understand though.

"Oh no, I'm not leaving," he said holding his hands up.

"Y-you ne-ed sl..sleep," she spit out, with what felt like a few teeth. Cody seemed to realize that even with Barris half dead on the bed, he wasn't going to win. With a sigh the flight left his eyes and for the first time she saw how truly beaten down he was. Even his armor looked worse for wear. The right side of his armor had practically turned black from ash and flames. The burn was on the same side.

"Goodbye Commander Offee. I will return shortly," and he exited. He turned after he exited, and their eyes held until the regulation door closed between them.

Somewhere deep inside Barris, a shiver raced through her. There was prophecy in that action.

"I can't believe it," The doctor mumbled and began checking her bandages and pressing buttons on the monitor. Barris's eyes followed him but she said nothing. "You can't even move, restrained and drugged and injured, and he leaves when you give him a look," The ruffled doctor continues in a mutter. "An entire team and I have been trying for a week to get him back to his own ward," his pride must seriously be injured. "I even had Jedi come in here, knights and masters," Barris's pride in Cody was growing with every word. She can picture him standing by her bedside, the commanding look on his face as he stared down Jedi healers. 'I'm sorry sir, but I must stay here.' 'My apologies Ma'am, but my duty lies waiting with her.' "You barely said a sentence." For some reason Barris had the feeling he wasn't really talking to her. He seemed done with his examination and equipment check. He tapped some things on his datapad and then addressed her.

"Commander Offee, I'm glad to see you are awake," that was the end of the pleasantries. From then on it was cold, hard, military reality. "You have received serious damage almost everywhere, broken numerous bones, have many burns, and a severe concussion. If you were not a Jedi, you would be dead. Specifically because you suffered a lower back injury that had you paralyzed from the waist down."

Panic chorused through her veins. Paralyzed?

"No need to panic, however. You seem to be self-healing. You will be able to achieve your normal acrobatics in six to eight months," Still the panic flipped through her. It was strange really; she couldn't seem to shut it off. The shock had done something to her ability to control her emotions. Her heart monitor started to beep faster and the clone swore. He pressed some buttons and then sighed. Barris once again felt the prick and a white cloud filtered into her mission. The man's voice seemed to be coming from under water.

"I'll come back when the med's wear off. Just be glad you'll be able to walk again, unlike most of our patients," there was extreme bitterness in his tone. She was defiantly not supposed to hear that. "Clones don't get second chances…"

Blue.

_I'm sorry it is short, but the next few chapters will be like this. It is supposed to represent the little waking time Barris has as she is constantly medicated for pain. I'm sorry there wasn't much Cody in this chapter but the next chapter it will be from his point of view. I wanted to end it with you have been paralyzed from the waist down… but I've been evil enough lately I'd though I'd be a little kinder. Especially because I GOT THE MOST REVIEWS EVER LAST CHAPTER! You guys are the best readers in the entire universe. Even those who don't review I thank you guys too, for I have had hits from 25 different countries! Though I give three lumps of sugar and cream sweetened thanks to:_

_**Canadiancloneluver!**_

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_**and…..**_

_**AuroraLunar0Love This0!**_

_I was so happy my smile cracked and fell off and I had to go searching on the floor for it and then it was covered in cat hair so I had to go wash it off… and even that didn't make me less happy! So if you want to make me happy again… _

_REVIEW PLEASE_


	12. Chapter 12

Cody wanted to ignore Barris's direct order. He wanted to shove that pompous brother out the door and kiss every inch of her. If she didn't want that, he would sit there and stroke her slightly singed hair that he had refused to let them cut off. If she didn't want that he would just stare at her and drink her beauty in. Suck in her wonderful life. At one point his need for Barris was so great he had come to a stumbling halt. His hands had shook and his knees had locks. His lips had trembled her name. Sympathetic looks were shot his way as others passed him by. They stared at him like he was mad. He wasn't insane. He was in love.

He was starting to think it was the same thing.

Commander continued his wandering through the floating med center. After all the time he had spent in Barris's room, he had totally forgotten where it was. It was only by luck he was saved from the embarrassment of having to ask someone. He passed an open door and saw one of the brothers that he faintly remembered in the bed next to his when he awoke. The number looked familiar as well. He pushed into the room suddenly glad Barris had practically ordered him to get some sleep. Curled in that chair constantly worried that she would not wake up he had got maybe five hours of true rest over the past week. His regulation bunk could have been a pile of straw for all he cared. It looked like the bed in a five star Coresanti hotel.

"So the famous commander returns," says the trooper Cody faintly recalls as being Flip. The snarky man was being dispatched as they spoke, Doctors unhooking him and handing him his armor and assignment. Cody should have reprimanded him for his attitude but he barely managed a glare and he fell into the cloud with a thump and a groan. His arm and ribs and head tweaked and he moaned, but the pain did not stop his instant slumber.

"Cody I love you." The words came from Barris's mouth as he kissed her passionately. "I'll leave the Jedi order for you Cody," he wanted to reply but his mouth was a little busy. She groaned and arched her back, her entire body purring with pleasure. Her slim hands clawed his shoulders and she dragged him back to her mouth. He followed her order without protest.

"I'd leave the GAR for you love," he mumbled hotly and kissed her neck, hands taking in the warmth of her body where his eyes could not in the darkness of where ever they were. His elbow hit a broom droid. Okay, it was a supply closet.

"We should-" her sentence was cut off by a moan and Cody smiled with satisfaction. "We should run away together. Go start a family somewhere the war can't find us," he vaguely recalled asking a doctor nonchalantly if a human could get a Mirialan pregnant. The doctor had done a double take then smiled knowingly. The answer had been yes. Her words caused him to pause in his vigor. She stopped shuddering under his hands. The crushing reality of their situation engulfed him and he began to drown in it.

"The war is everywhere," white light flooded his vision and the sound disappeared.

"The war is everywhere," slowly the room around him came into focus.

"The war is everywhere," he found his own lips mumbling these words. With a sigh he blinked and rubbed his eyes with his free hand. Everything was aching. His shattered arm, his bruised back, tweaked leg, cracked ribs and a concussion. The medical droid had made it clear that he would not have survived if Barris hadn't healed him. If she had not used all her energy to save him that she couldn't even heal her own broken ankle when she really needed it. If she had not healed him she could have escaped and not suffered her injuries, the extent of which the doctors would not tell him. Their eyes kept shifting away when he asked the question and they mumbled something about orders. That meant they were bad. Really, really bad.

He groaned and rolled on to his side, wallowing in pity and self-loathing. At least until he saw the man who had taken Flip's place. That stopped all those feelings in their tracks. His hair had the shiny blackness of one just pulled from bacta. He was hooked up to a team of machines and his breathing was labored. Obviously they were letting his body rest from extensive healing before they tossed him back in the turquoise gel. The other two beds in the ward were empty, the men having left with Flip. They would be filled too soon. That wasn't what was bothering him though. It was the crutched leaned up against the frame of his bed and the metal wrapped around his thighs, calves, and ankles. He had seen that type of braces before, and they never boded well for the brother wearing them. For a few minutes Cody forgot all about his own problems and focused on his family as he had his entire life.

Without a verbal complaint but plenty of strain in his muscles Cody stood and shuffled to the bed side of his injured brother. His fingers danced across the data pad embedded in the machinery. After a few moments the clones number, rank, and station.

C-55102887

327th Star Corps

K Company

This meant he was under Commander Bly and Jedi Aayla Secura. Cody had worked with Bly before. He was a good man, a fair man.

"My name is Catcher, but the monitor won't tell you that," Cody jumped back in surprise, hand reaching for his blaster and groping air when he realized it wasn't there. After a few seconds his adrenalin went back to more normal levels and he could function again.

"A pleasure Catcher, I am Commander Cody," he wanted to shake the man's hand but he doubted it was a good idea.

"Commander," he saluted almost sarcastically from where he lay. Then his head fell back to the 'brick'. "What happened to you to get you holed up here?" Cody grabbed a chair and pulled it up beside the heavily tattooed soldier.

"Blown up on Genosis," Cody didn't really wish to elaborate. There was no reason to. "You?" The man said nothing for a very, very long time. Cody took the seconds to notice the man's armor in a bin under the bed. A kama and pauldron were tucked among the tangerine striped armor.

"I suffered a shot to my lower back. I'm paralyzed from the waist down," this confirmed Cody's assumption with the shot of the hydraulic braces. Cody unwilling sucked in a breath at the horror of the thought. On a whim Cody took the soldier's shoulder in a reassuring squeeze. He saw surprise flicker there for a moment and then the mask was back. It was an expression he'd seen many a times on those who had suffered great injuries and knew the GAR would not allow them to survive.

Cody sat with Catcher the entire day, and they talked about trivial things. At one point they even talked about Barris, catcher had never met her personally but he had heard great things about her. Cody learned that catcher was Bly's best friend, almost like Rex was his. Cody had never viewed Rex in any lower regard because he was only a captain and a normal trooper and he was an ARC and a commander. Experience out ranked everything in his book. It seemed like Bly's relationship with catcher was much the same. They were only interrupted when the doctors came in to administer medication and check on injury status. Cody was informed that his damaged internal organs were healing nicely and he would be fit for duty in another week or so. From the grim set of his new found friend's mouth, his news was not as up lifting. The lights went down at the standard time and Cody rolled over in his cot, staring at the faintly glowing monitors. When Catchers whisper echoed through the room, Cody immediately realized the other man thought he was asleep.

"When it happened," he cleared his throat. His eyes were hollow and his expression was somber in the twilight darkness of the room. "When it happened I was screaming on the ground. My legs were on fire. Then, after they loaded me back on the cruiser, there was nothing. I couldn't stand up to shake Bly's hand. He saw the pain there as he left. That night he came back, he waited there for the ship to come and take me away. I asked him to shoot me. I asked him to put me out of this misery. He wouldn't do it. He couldn't shoot his right hand man, his best friend, he told me. Now I'm never going to see him again." The man's tortured cry touches a nerve in Cody's very soul.

The war was everywhere, even in his brothers' hearts.

_Yay, more Cody! We all love him so much but he hasn't gotten much attention lately. So I gave him his own heart wrenching chapter that took forever to write because I had to think it through very carefully and I was also on the treadmill. I am very dedicated, writing while I work out! However, not as dedicated as my amazing reader! You are the most amazing people on this entire insignificant planet in the grand scheme of the universe! Special thanks to my reviewers,_

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_You guys are all awesome! As always I thank all the people who take their time to read my fic, it is much appreciated. However, you remain anonymous until you review! _

_For those of you who like Catcher, check out LongLivetheClones fic Whatever Happened to Captain Rex? He will be making an appearance there very soon!_


	13. Chapter 13

Paralyzed?

Two blue eyes blinked at him and a faint smile ghosted on purple lips. The skin was cracked and dry like the dehydrated plants of Tatoonie. Her smile was just a brittle and her voice as strong as dead summer wind. Cody could barely register what she was saying after the initial shock. He felt like he had been smacked in the back by that pillar all over again. His breath came in shallow gasps and his mind was reeling in panic. Spots glittered in front of his eyes.

Paralyzed?

"Breathe Cody," her almost silent words flickered through his conscious. He was standing just far enough away that she couldn't lay her hands on him. He had learned his lesson when he first arrived, feeling the warmth of her healing when she had touched his face. Again she was sacrificing her own health for his. Now, he realized exactly how much she had been sacrificing for him. A blasted _clone_.

Paralyzed?

"Wh-what?" his voice was weak even to his own ears. He sounded like a lost cadet for crying out loud. Man up commander. Tighten your stripes and clean your blaster and take you true loves injury like a soldier. Then Cody realized he was taking it like a soldier. Love for your comrades outweighed all that Kamonian brain washing. Feeling something was so much better. Crying about it with them was so much better than being stone faced as you watched them thrown into the mass grave. Or the incinerator. Or just left there to rot in the heat of the sun or decay in the damp of the jungle or freeze in the ice of the tundra.

Paralyzed?

"You're taking it worse than I did Cody. You know it is only temporary," (Barris had said this originally to him, but it didn't make a difference to Cody.) she said with a laugh so weak he wanted to give her his lungs so he could hear her real laugh in the mere seconds before he died. The fact she was laughing however was a ray of sunshine through the clouds. It was a wisp of hope for him to grab on to and not let go. He would never let go of her. The words Rex based his entire life off of ring through Cody. _I will fight to my last breath to keep them safe._ Them being Ahsoka and Anakin. He had failed in that. Barris was…

Paralyzed?

"Why?" he asked and looked at her. His brown eyes were wide and almost childlike in their sincerity. "Why would you do something like that for me? Then not tell me until I practically have to beat my brother for information? Why did you try and heal me even though you need all your strength just to remain conscious? Why?" his voice cracked painfully on the last syllable. Cody was closer to tears than he had ever been. All the realities of war had been rolled up and thrown like a wet towel in his face. He lived war, and it had made him numb. Barris had hidden the pain even farther. Until there she was, broken and burned and smelling of anesthetic and drugs. His fault.

Paralyzed?

"Because I love you," and she matched his look with her own. Big eyed, almost sorry looking she stretched her sweet fingers toward his face. They halted a centimeter away. Cody stood just out of her reach. They had said the three words before. On one knee in the Jedi temple. Pressed close on a turbo lift. Snuggled in a dark hall. In his dreams. This however, this was different. This was like the truth of the universe laid out by the force. It was so pure and so true and utterly real. Those simple words washed heat through Cody's body. His new chant echoed faintly in the background as he tried to ignore it.

Paralyzed?

"I love you too," his reply was sweet and gentle and he put as much of his feelings in it as he could. Wrapping her still extended hand with both his own he brought it to his lips. "My lady," then he kissed her hand gently. She giggled softly. Urged on he kissed a little higher on her hand. Met with no resistance he continued his path, gently biting the inside of her wrist. In return he got a slight squeal. He could at least provide her with this little pleasure while she was incapacitated.

Paralyzed?

"Cody," she giggled and swatted at his head playfully. He just grinned. "Cody stop it! It tickles!" That just made him laugh much to her amusement. The man could not be swayed as he stopped above her face. Then he showered her cheeks in faint kisses, some no more than brushes. He tapped her nose with his finger and she couldn't help laugh at his playfulness. He leaned down to kiss her lips and she turned her head away while explaining, "What if someone catches us?" Then he pouted, his gorgeous eyes almost watering. This was the most fun Barris had received in a long time. Finally after a stare down she sighed. "All right but just on-" she was cut off by the fever of his kiss. It was hot and wet but neat, Cody was never one for messes. Barris decided to enjoy it. This would be their last for a long time. There were still things she hadn't told Cody of.

Paralyzed?

A voice buzzed from the small speaker over the bed. "Commander Offee are you alright? Your heart rate has accelerated and your breathing in irregular. With a faint curse Cody pulled away and let Barris respond. This doctor wasn't so easily disposed of. He continued to ask pesky questions like why her voice was husky and what she was doing. Barris tried to respond but he could see she was getting upset with all the prying. Cody's anger built as Barris's eye got misty. She didn't desereve treatment like this. After all she was…

Paralyzed?

"She's fine di'kut. Now end this transmission or I'll break you and your fancy equipment," the threat hisses through his teeth. Without another word the transmission was canceled. Barris tried to hide her relief by rolling her eyes. In response Cody kissed her eyelashes. He was being quite lovey today. More than ever actually. All his stiffness had melted away when she told him that she loved him with all her heart. That didn't totally explain it though. Something else was causing his forced smile and gritted teeth. Was it because she was

Paralyzed?

Cody wanted to do so much more than impishly give Barris butterfly kisses but he did not for fear of hurting her. He did not for fear she would reject him. He did not for fear he would fail. He did not for the fear he was not good enough for her. And for all the other things he was afraid of but only admitted to himself in the latest darkest nights where his brothers faint snores and even fainter whimpers. Barris had wormed her way into his nightmares, and they had been answered.

Paralyzed?

"Cody," Barris's voice was quiet and anxious. "Cody my master is coming," he blinked once in surprise. General Luminara was being kept under closer watch and tighter restrictions than him. She had not been allowed to move all week. Now, he guessed she had finally escaped and was coming to visit her protégé. That's when he realized the significance of what she was saying. It would be highly suspicious to have him hanging around here, without super vision, for an extended period of time. Especially because he wasn't even under her command. "Quickly, you must go!" Cody quickly pecked her lips.

Paralyzed?

"Until we meet again my lady," and he bowed. Then he turned to leave and almost ran straight into General Unduli as she burst into the room. She seemed to be pursued by frazzled doctors and a Jedi healer he did not recognize. The running woman stopped in surprise, eyes blinking owlishly.

Paralyzed?

"Commander Cody! Why are you here?" asked his surprised commanding officer. The alibi rolled easily off his tongue as if it was true.

Paralyzed?

"I was thanking Commander Offee for saving my life. I am forever in her debt," he purred the smooth untruth and regretted it a little. The Jedi's controlled, if bruised face turned somber.

Paralyzed?

"We all are," she said and in a rare act of emotion the younger Jedi put a hand on his shoulder. "We all are." In the hall all Cody could think of was how Luminara's hair was smooth as purple silk where Barris's was hacked by fire. And how she was not

PARALYZED.

_Welcome to the chapter that was supposed to have different sized fonts but fanfic wont allow it! (you may imagine a giant first paralyzed that slowly shrinks to a really tiny second to last one with another massive final one) What did you think? I hope you liked it… I personally did. Please excuse the typos, I'm really tired and sneezing and coughing all over my key board and screen and it's just coated in- ah but you don't want to hear that right? TMI. Any who, Cody kinda sorta got another chapter! Yay! Notice the punctuation difference? That signifies his acceptance. The smaller font signifies a smaller, quieter Cody as he is swept away by unnecessary guilt. Or it can mean whatever you wanted it to mean, you are the reader. I just write the stuff. Especially if you're an English teacher. Whatever you're thinking, I can tell you all ready that it is totally NOT what I was thinking. I give thanks to my loving readers who keep this my most popular and read story of all. I give more thanks to my reviewers because they encourage me to keep on writing even if my feet are dragging and I have writers block to the top of Mt. Everest to the bottom of the Marianna Trench. These wonderful people are…_

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_I'm seeing some new faces in this little club! All you people who read this fic you are loved! Though if you wish to be mentioned you must REVIEW! _

_(oh if an M BarrisxCody fic is wished to be written you can PM me or just stick it in your review… if I get enough yeses I'll do one or two chapters probably intertwined in this fic)_


	14. Chapter 14

"General Luminara!" shouted a rather breathless voice from down the hall. "You must return to your room now!" Barris watched as her master smiled a little and let the door to the room slide closed, jamming a chair in a way that would keep it from sliding back. The voice now muffled continued its rant. "Your organs are still delicate! The bacta process could not be complete!" Her master swept her hand to the side.

"Imbeciles, all of those pompous healers. They haven't picked up a weapon in their entire _lives_," she muttered and strode over to Barris, placing a hand on the younger girls forehead. "Not like you Barris. You a much more competent than those fools." Obviously her master had been trapped in her room for a while and was not happy with her jailers. The woman's eyes flickered away from her own for a moment and she seemed to be talking to herself. "I'll have to thank Commander Cody for blocking the hall for me." Barris smiled inwardly.

"He is a good man, that Cody," she said with what she thought was exquisite hidden emotion. Luminara still managed to pick up on it and raised a single eyebrow at her Padawan. Barris felt herself blushing and cursed her blood for rising.

"Yes, a good commander. He and Gree are friendly," did Barris detect a hint of wistfulness in her master's eyes when she spoke of her commanding clone? It was Barris's turn to raise an eyebrow. The two women stared at each other, coming to a draw and cease fire. Luminara's easy smile faded when she took in the condition of her Padawan. "What is your status?" Barris winced internally and began the list that seemed to have a mind of its own, liking to grow longer and ever more depressing. She started with the lightest injuries and continued down the list of others. She saved the worst for last, watching as her master registered what was going to be said a moment before the utterance crossed her parched lips.

"Paralyzed, from the waist down. I'll heal, but in six to eight months and extensive bacta therapy," that was the part she had neglected to mention to Cody. He might have actually snapped the poor doctors neck if she had told him.

Her master was taking it better than Cody would have. Her eyes merely darken and her hands made choking motions in the air. Also, she let out a fine stream of curses that would have made Rex proud. Barris sighed and let her get it out, finding that she took her own injuries better than those around her. Finally two deep blue eyes met hers and a weak leer faded onto Luminara's face.

"Don't repeat those vulgar words Barris. I am at fault for even muttering them," Barris laughed to ease her Master's embarrassment. There was almost something… off about her. The way she was talking carefully, as if dancing with her words. Once in a while she would stumble over them, and her face would scrunch in concentration. Then she stuttered horribly and Barris knew.

"Brain trauma?" she squeaked as she looked at her master her slim hand extending and brushing the twin skin. Now it was her turn to, well, _freak_. Her master was suffering all because she didn't get there soon enough. She was going to have trouble speaking for the rest of her life because of her.

Luminara just nodded in grim determination.

"I should have gotten their sooner! I should have healed you, but I didn't know, couldn't sense…" she was barely making sense close to tears at the thought. She had failed her master. Again. She had failed Cody. She had failed herself. More importantly she was a failure as a Jedi.

"Barris stop," Luminara snapped and her thoughts came to a standstill. She always did as ordered. "Do not blame yourself. You cannot change the past," Barris nodded as if someone had wrapped hands around her chin and pulled it up and down. "Maybe in a week or two you can try your hand at healing me," at the thought Barris perked up at the idea. She could redeem herself by fixing her Master's stutter. Once she got out of the tank of course.

Cody growled as he stalked past the healers and doctors, stopping them in their tracks. All, even the Jedi, cowered against the wall, knowing enough not to _mess _with him. Especially not now, when his love, heart, life, was lying half dead on one of their cots and he felt like pulverizing something. His fingers twitched and it took all his will not to slam it into the wall above the pretty Jedi's head. She was looking at him like she wanted to help him somehow.

"Don't waste your time dear," he snarled and thumped his shoulder against the clone blocking his path and continued his rampage down the hall. Finally he couldn't take it anymore and frantically searched for something to break that wouldn't land him in the brig. He settled in the refresher, taking out the security cameras before shattering the mirror with a well-placed punch. It wasn't quite as satisfying as he'd hoped, but he no longer had the urge to refer to his commanding officers as degrading names for females or to slam his fist into someone's face.

Condemning his own face had done the job, his entire reflection turned into an ice mosaic and spider web cracks. With a sigh he ran his hands over his head. His hair was getting a little long. He needed to find someone to cut it back to its regulation military style. Cody looked down at the pieces of his armor they let him wear while he was injured; they were in horrible disrepair. Being coated in ash and stained by flames was not good for his paint job. Actually the only thing that wasn't dilapidated was his lower face, just a clean shaven as ever. That was one thing he would never let go, even in times of great stress or in the middle of a low profile recon mission, he always took the minute to stay clean and professional. It was something he would never let war change no matter how inconvenient.

He turned to go but was greeted by two clones in different clothing than he'd seen the rest of his brothers' wear in this place. The lose tunic and pants were white like patients, but they also wore gloves and had the badges of a certified medic. He knew immediately by their calm smiles and cloying voices what they were.

Mental Ward.

Panic raced through his blood for a moment. They were here to take him away, fearing him a danger to himself and others. Then the clear headedness that allowed him to be marked as a commanding clone from his early cadet years. Obviously it was a mistake. They thought he was an escapee and had been dispatched to take him back.

"Come with us brother, it is time for you to return home," he repressed the urge to smack those smiles right off their faces. That would not help his case. Instead he said in his most authoritative voice,

"There has been a miscalculation. I am Commander Cody of the 7th Sky Corps, and my injuries do not in tale mental incapacitation. You are able to confirm this with," he racked his name for the Jedi healer that had talked to him immediately after the accident. "Stass Allie." The two men looked at each other for a moment and seemed to communicate telepathically, though Cody knew it was impossible for non-Jedi. Especially clones.

"Will you come with us while we check for you?" Cody nodded. What he did not expect was the surprising act of agility from the nearest brother. He had only ever seen a Jedi move so fast. Before he could even raise his arm in self-defense there was a needle in his damaged arm and cool drug spreading through his blood stream. Everything went numb and he crashed to the floor, eyes fluttering closed and the last words he heard were,

"Blast he's heavy."

"Commander Cody…" a voice sang in the distance. He clawed his way upwards, shredding the flimsi that surrounded him. "Commander Cody…" it came again and he struggled harder towards the dim light. Finally with a gasp he sat up, pushing off the person who had been singing and wildly looking around. When he realized he wasn't in the middle of a battle he calmed down, lying back to the mat with a groan. His brain felt like it was dripping out his ear. "Yay! You're awake," said a voice that obviously belonged to a brother, even if the words didn't.

"Where am I," he moaned and sat up again, much slower.

"Why the medical ward silly!" said a brother with innocent blue eyes. He hadn't seen a set like that since one of his Captain's was killed during the Geonosian Mind Worm raid. The blue was a recessive gene of Jango's and every once in a while a fortunate brother got them.

Of course, Captain Luck hadn't actually been lucky.

Those were the unimportant thoughts in Cody's head. The ones that screamed and ran around in circles were at the front of his mind, and they were saying medical ward. He turned his head to the brother who spoke like a happy child and noticed how he rocked on his heels, back and forth in a way that had Cody shaking his head to snap him out of an oncoming trance.

"Medical Ward?" to his embarrassment his voice was a little higher pitched than normal. No brother ever came out of the medical ward. Never. It was the horror of late night medical tales around the fire after Skywalker had crashed them into a planet _again_. It was a place of whispered rumors and dead eyes and _horror_.

"Yep, yep, yep!" said the strangely joyful clone. "I'm glad you're here," he said with a smile before leaning in and whispering in his ear, "Scratch over there isn't very good company. He doesn't like anyone, especially himself." Originally Cody had repressed the urge to lean away. Now he sat stock still in rapt attention as his brother continued to explain things. His eyes found Scratch, who just lay on a cot in the corner and didn't move. His hands reached towards his throat, but before he got close blue restraints came into being and snapped his arms back to his sides. "Everyone else has been taken away, except the brothers in the cells," he pulled away again beginning the ridiculous rocking. "You don't want to go near them."

As if to confirm his statement an eerie wail echoed through the halls empty halls surrounding the center ward. It twisted and screamed, cackling like the Sith before dying to a mere whisper and then disappearing. It set Cody's teeth on edge and as he watch the hair on his exposed arm stood straight up. It wasn't human, that sound.

"What's your name trooper?"

"Quiz sir. I used to be quite the engineer." A fog enters his eyes and he stands. Pacing he tells his story, and it's sad. He sounds like a normal brother, for a while.

"I was a hard worker, always loyal to my brothers, always fighting for them. I suffered head trauma and was fine for almost two months after. Then, well, I started to develop personality disorders. Bursts of rage followed by bouts of happy ness. They told me I used to say the voices were screaming and I couldn't save them. By that point I was so bad I don't remember. They brought me here and the Jedi got to me. Tried to fix me, got relatively close too. They kept me from turning into a monster," then the fog was gone and his eyes were too bright. "Now I have a new friend!" he said and pulled Cody to his feet. The commander muffled the groan. He didn't want to disappoint the trooper by telling him he was probably leaving soon. Hopefully. The cell door nearest the ward rattled as if someone's body was thrown against it. Again it shook and a scream of rage and fury galloped from the cell. Cody winced. The soldier in him turned to Quiz and told him the truth.

"I'm sorry Quiz, I'm going to be leaving soon. There was a mistake. I'm not really a mental patient." His heart twisted at the look of sadness of the boy/trooper's face. His words were punctured with sadness but a weak smile found its way onto his face.

"Aw, that's okay. They all leave sooner or later anyway," he sighed and sat on the mat next to Cody's. "I'm glad I got to meet the great Commander Cody." Before Cody could reply a figure entered the ward. Immediately Cody recognized the dark skinned purple eyed Jedi. He sighed in relief. "General Allie," she made a tisking noise at him.

"Now Cody, what did you do to get tossed in here?" he shrugged rather sheepishly as she pushed him out the door. Quiz waved at him, and he waved back. His heart was higher than it had been in a while. He was getting _out_. As if his brother had sensed his thoughts the man in the nearest cell peered between the bars at the top of his door.

"So there letting you out hmm? Well don't be fooled," Cody stopped in his tracks and turned to the clone. General Allie looked a little panicked and tried to push him forward. Still his feet stayed rooted to the ground. "We live in prison brother, the Jedi are our wardens, and pain," he began to chuckle, "Pain is our hell." Cody let himself be shoved out of the Mental sector, but his brother's mad laughter vibrated in his soul.

_Sorry this took so very long to come out. I had a medical case of writers block for this chapter. Actually, i feel i've almost dug myself into a hole here with this story. I have no idea where i am going to go with this, but as I write this little snippit I am getting inspiration! Finally! I've waited near two weeks for this little idea to come. I thank all my readers, but i give giant thanks to my reviewers. You guys are totally amazing and even in my darkest hour of writers block you keep me going! I'd also like to mention I'm seeing a few new faces on this ever growing list! It makes me so excited. _

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_You all deserve internet dessert but I'm a horrid cook so I give them to you in spirit. _

_May the Force be with you all. _


	15. Chapter 15

Now the real question was how in the frozen hells of Hoth had he ended up in the Mental Ward?

"General Allie?" he questioned as she continued to drag him back towards his room. He was a little surprised by the action, having expected the amethyst eyed Jedi healer to ditch him outside the ward. If he had to pick up some idiot who had managed to get himself trapped in the mental ward that is what he would have done. Actually, he might just have left the shiny because he needed to be in the detention facility if he had managed that feat.

"Yes commander?" she said with rounded vowels and pronounced the final e in commander like an o.

"How was it possible that I was sanctioned to be in the mental ward when I have no history of cerebral incapacities?" he used language he had picked up from Obi-wan, a good vocabulary was not necessary in a soldier, even a commanding clone. In battle it was even a hindrance, because saying hit was a lot faster than saying injured or incapacitated.

"I was hoping you would ask that question." She said in a quiet voice and steered him around a hovering cart of supplies and an occupied driver. There was urgency in her tone that was most unsettling to hear. At least it explained why she was escorting him back to his room like a blind man. "See, I believe, along with my colleagues," Cody picked up that she didn't mention which colleagues and stored that in his mind to mull over later. "that it was not a computing error that two men who usually deal with the extremely dangerous to self and others cases were sent after you. You were lucky they gave you the benefit of the doubt and came to me. Rarely do they deal with patients able to express their thoughts rationally and who come quietly." Cody silently thanked the two brothers for their kindness. The pair paused outside the automatic door to his room, black numbers painted on the glaring white surface. "Is there anyone who could be jealous of you because you got off easy with your injuries?" she questioned in a hushed tone. Cody thought of Catcher, lying behind the door. He didn't really seem like the bitter type.

"No, it wasn't that type of accident." A frown crossed her face.

"Then, I hate to say it, but we might be dealing with a traitor who wanted you out of the picture, or just missing something important," she began to chew on her nails, a nervous habit he had noticed was common among the doctors. They must have picked it up from her. "It all doesn't make sense!" she growled before seeming to realize Cody was still standing there. "Shoo commander! Back to your room!" she said, putting on a show for the clones around them. He played the part, smiling like a cadet caught watching dancing girls on the holonet and entered his room. Catcher seemed to be asleep and judging by the rhythmic beep of his heart rate and calm breathing what he saw was true. He took the opportunity to take a closer look at the braces he wore strapped to his legs. They were empty screen black with two bars from the hip to the ankle on either side. A stabilizer was clipped around his hips, the painted metal worn silver around the edges and the aqua gel that was used as padding had collected like clogs in Courasanti arteries. Restraints held his thighs and lower legs in place. Two large discs rested by his knees and must contain the motors that powered the fake limbs.

Barris was going to get a pair of theses he thought to himself as he began pacing the room too worked up to even thinking about climbing in-between the cot and the sheets. His mind went into over drive as he thought of reasons someone might have wanted to have him stuck in the ward of horror. Thinking about that hell brought up the face of one of the damned. Quiz, the happy little trooper from the… he didn't even know. He didn't know his commanding officers, or the color of his armor, or even what the accident had been that had caused him to lose his mind. He just knew his name, his specialization, and the color of his eyes. He should have been named Luck. He was close to being perfectly healed. He would get to return to his brothers and go on fighting until he was murdered by a blaster bolt or a Sith's blade. Yes it was murder, but a casualty made it seem like the end result was worth it. Was it really? It was for the citizens of the Republic, but what about the clones? What did they get?

Death.

Happy Birthday brothers.

Cody didn't really like the directions his thoughts were turning. It was never a good idea for a soldier to think like this. He needed to distract himself. Might was well use the time to clean up his appearance. His kit was in a plastic bin under the cot so he pulled it out groaned as the meshed fibers took his weight from him. The familiarity of the tasks was calming as he pulled out the small pair of scissors and mirror he kept. With deft movements he snipped the excess organic filaments from his head. His tattoo was fading and he frowned at it, rubbing his forehead. So that's why it was fadeing. With a small chuckle to himself he put the tools away and grabbed the cleaner and a cloth from his box. It was supposed to be for his gun, but when his got uncomfortably dirty it worked just fine on the white protection.

He hummed to himself a drinking song as he cleaned his armor methodically. The words would have Obi-wan cringing at their vulgarity, but he wasn't here to, well, hear. At least Cody didn't think he was still in the facility. What kind of commander had he become, failing to check if his General was still aboard the station?

"Commander?" Catcher said from across the room as he shoved himself into a sitting position. Cody immediately rose to go help his brother, but froze when a glare was shot his way. "I can do it myself di'kut." Then he seemed to realize who he was talking to and abruptly snapped his mouth closed before exhaling in a long apologetic breath. "Sorry, I forgot you weren't Bly." Cody just laughed, trying to lighten the situation.

"Ah, don't worry about it. It's been a while since someone called me that. Let's see," he pretended to ponder. "how long has it been since I saw Rex?" another person he needed to find. Catcher chuckled in return.

"You know Cody, before they throw me back in the bacta, I could tattoo that girlie of yours on your chest if you wanted. You'd just need to get me a holo," Cody was about to reply when it all clicked. The thing Barris hadn't been telling him this morning, the surprisingly short length of time of how long it would take her to heal. Why she had said I love you like she had. Everything fell into place and he let out a stream of curses so strong even Skywalker refrained from using them. Catcher looked at him in surprise as he pulled on half his armor and gave up, hopping as he tugged on a boot. "What is it commander?"

"Barris! Why would she do that to me?" he shouted and grabbed his helmet so no one would stop him in the hall.

"What?"

"She had me thrown in the MW because _she's_ being thrown in the bacta today! It's the blast Jedi Code!"

Barris shivered on the freezing surgical table. She found herself hoping Cody would show up, but she knew that was impossible. She had thrown a wrench in the med stations systems, having the capture team go after him. It was for his good. Cody needed to distance himself from her before she left for half a year. He needed to forget about her, find some nice twileck girl and run away with her. No, she wasn't right for the commander. She was a Jedi, and Jedi could not have attachments. Well, it was a little late for that, but it would be easier for her to let him go if he had let her go. She was near tears at the thought and cursed her weakness, dashing them away with her still working hand.

"One moment Mistress," the medical droid beeped and rolled past. She followed it with her eyes, trying to distract herself from what she had done. They'd figure out that Cody wasn't supposed to be there tomorrow and let him out. Then they'd ship him back to Obi-wan, all patched up and ready for battle.

_Don't go walking into any burning buildings now Cody, _she tried to tell him through the force. _And-_

_"Barris!" _his voice shouted and it had to be in her head because he was in the MW, not here with her. Her

"Barris!" why was he angry? The Cody in her head wasn't angry. She cracked open an eye lid and found a half armored Commander towering over her and a medical droid buzzing about how she was indecent and a clone should not be in here. Cody just shoved it away with his foot. "What were you thinking?"

"That you need to forget me Cody," she felt heat on her lips and she opened her eyes fully. Cody was straddling her on the medical table and if it was any other time her voice would shake with excitement. Now it shook with tears. "You need to leave me Cody. It-" and he smashed their lips together. It was the most passionate kiss they had ever shared, probably stoked because she wasn't wearing anything.

"Never Barris, not even when my dust as turned to ash, will I ever stop loving you, let alone forget you." Barris looked into his eyes, a deep gray reflected in them from the table. He was serious.

"Oh Cody," and she started crying. "Cody I can't be a Jedi! I'm too in love with you," and that was the greatest proclamation she could have ever made to him. With soft fingers he took her tears away.

"You are the greatest Jedi of them all, _because_ you love." And he stepped away before the medical droid gave itself a heart, and then had a heart attack. "And because I love you." Barris smiled through her tears as the robotic arms swept her up, covering her in sensors and a breathing mask. And she was lifted unconscious into the tank, her beauty hidden behind jealousy green. She was gone. For some reason he felt like forever. Cody turned away and felt an itching behind his eyes. He reached his fingers up to scratch it. They came away glistening and wet.

**I'm sorry it's so short, I try but I just find all these good places to stop and it gets later and later and my eyes start to cross… enough excuses. We will be seeing a lot more Cody in the upcoming chapters, since Barris's experiences only include green goop and unconsciousness. I hope that cleared up last chapter for you guys, I know confusion was rampant. That means it worked! We'll be meeting more OC clones as we go through the chapters, and I might have a poll on which one is liked the best! I'm excited, though I still really don't know where this story is going. Order 66 is just looming in the distance… **

**I give thanks to all my dedicated readers! My reviewers, well you are bloody brilliant. Hopefully you know that already. **

**KatiaSwift!**

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**Blades252!**

**DoubleEO!**

**Codywolf!**

**Cnwriter!**

**I love seeing new faces on this list, so keep the reviews coming!**

**(I use too many exclamation points) **


	16. Chapter 16

Cody took Catcher up on his offer when he returned to his room. To hell with his duties as Commander. To hell with getting off this base. To hell the suspicion it would arose to have a Padawan tattooed on his chest. To hell with fiery infernos of hell. Yes, he was swearing like Rex but at this point it seemed to be the only thing he could do to fight his fate. He had helped his brother sit up much to Catcher's vicious protesting and then ducked under the cot to grab hit kit. Finally Cody couldn't stand the punches and curses anymore and handed Catcher his crutches so the man could set up his own equipment as Cody searched for a picture of Barris on the holo.

"So," Catcher said as he plugged in his needles and set up his various bottles of ink. "I know that usually people want girls with the least amount of clothing possible but I really don't like doing totally naked but maybe I will for you just 'cause there's only two of us-"

"This one," Cody turns the data pad over and shows the picture to Catcher. This had always been his favorite picture of Barris; he used to look it up when he was feeling especially down between missions.

The image framed her face, which had ash smudged across one cheek. She was smiling though, something she didn't do enough of. Her deep blue eyes sparkled like the oceans of Naboo. A single strand of hair had escaped its cloth and tickled her forehead. Her green skin glowed in health and her dark purple marks seemed to shimmer in a hidden sun. She was beautiful. Catcher grinned.

"Finally a brother with respect for a woman," Catcher says with a grin and pats the fabric beside him. Cody sits down and begins removing his armor and peels back his body suit. Catcher wipes anesthetic across the tan colored skin. He begins talking, a true tattoo artist. Cody realizes it is to distract him from the pain but he is glad for it as the needle begins buzzing.

"So how did you meet this Barris?" he asks as Cody's skin begins to burn. The commander smiles at the memory, Rex pushing his mouth closed. Just at that moment Cody's bucket buzzed. He was receiving communication. Catcher looks longingly at the helmet for a moment then steels his gaze. Feeling bad Cody activates the channel.

"Commander Cody ready to receive transmission, over."

"Cody I'm glad I got a hold of you. They're dispatching us tomorrow on a mission. I will meet you at the hanger bay at 0900 hours," Obi-wan's smooth voice crackles over the speakers.

"Yes sir,"

"Oh and Cody, I am glad to hear you are well. I was worried for you."

"Thank you General. You need not feel concern, but it is much appreciated." Cody smiles a little. Kenobi never seemed to stop caring, even if it got into trouble. Which it did. A lot.

"I will see you soon then. May the force be with you." And the connection ended. Catcher looks at the helmet, then back at Cody. He seems to make the connection and his hand freezes mid-motion. Cody waves his wrist at him in a signal to keep going and he obliges with only a little hesitation.

"He seemed genuinely worried for you," Catcher says and glances back at Barris's face before continuing.

"Yes, good ol' Kenobi," Cody says with a grin. "let me tell you something about him," and Catcher can't help but notice the sly twinkle in his superiors eye. It makes him just a tad nervous, but he doesn't let it show.

"Go ahead,"

"Well, him being the caring and sensitive type, it attracts a damn lot of females. And see, the great Jedi is damn attracted _back_," Cody watches Catcher try to restrain a laugh and fail miserably as chuckles. "See, once Dutchess Satine of Madalore got so fed up with his many… interests, she slapped him across the face." Catcher is really howling now. "He came back so drunk we walked into three separate walls and admitted to three separate love affairs." Catcher can barely keep his hands steady against Cody's skin he's laughing so hard.

"I thought Jedi weren't supposed to have attachments?" he says once he's calmed down.

"So did I. Turns out that's more of a loose suggestion," Catcher snorts at Cody's reply.

"Aayla was much the same way, though she rarely dealt in clones," Catcher's eyes get the misty glaze that most men get when they talk about the voluptuous Jedi. "She only played around with Bly once, and he regretted it for months afterwards. He had instigated it actually," Catcher sighs rather sadly. "Bly expected his manly pride to get chopped off in the process. He got away surprisingly easy and no longer a virgin. I lost the bet," Catcher smiles at the memory, but it fades quickly. Fury burns inside Cody for the horror's they are subjected to. No longer can his brother even smile without his memories paining him. "Calm down commander, you're tensing. I don't want to screw with your tattoo." Cody sighs.

"Sorry Catcher," the man smiles, his blue eyes glowing. The rare gene at its greatest.

"Ah, no worries. You got anymore dirt on the all mighty Jedi?" he says with a sly grin. "I feel like keeping up this teenage female vibe." Cody smirks at the man he is trusting with his skin.

"Well, you know of the hero without fear?"

"Skywalker?" Catcher says with a snort.

"Yep, the only. Thank the force he's the only one. Well, he is even looser than Kenobi. He is quite a talented cage dancer." The needle stops moving and the men stare at each other.

"You're serious. No joke?" Cody's brother says with wide eyes.

"Completely. I witnessed it for myself over leave. Gave me nightmares," Cody shivers for effect. Catcher begins laughing and then Cody joins in, and their howls can be heard all through the sector.

"C'est fini," Catcher grins and hands Cody a small mirror. Cody admires his new tattoo, liking the way Barris's smile makes him smile she's so beautiful, and the thought he won't see her for six months has his voice choking up.

"It's wonderful Catcher, thank you." The man grins, proud. He begins cleaning up his ink, like jars of different senient's blood. Cody shakes the thought away, finding it too close to home to deserve pondering.

"So do you have a sweet heart, or someone you love?" Cody asks and lies down on his own cot. The events of the day have worn him out as much as the most bloody battle.

"Ah no, not me," he says with a sad, sad smile. "Not anymore. It was only a one night stand, but she meant the world to me. Her eyes," he stops mid motion, seemingly lost. "Her eyes were the most beautiful purple you will ever see, her skin, it was softer than anything I'd ever," he sighs. "I think I fell in love with her that night, but she didn't love me back. She thought all clones were the same, could use us interchangeably. She was with a different man when I went back to find her, a man, not a clone. She looked at him like he was the sun, and she had looked at me like a blaster. She didn't love me, but I think I loved her."

"You deserve someone better Catcher. And you are a man, just like whoever she was with the next night. She was just too dense to see that," now Cody really feels like a teenage girl, but Catcher needs the encouragement.

"Thanks Commander,"

"Call me Cody."

"Cody," he obliges the order, but Cody can't help notice the two blue eyes stray too an exposed arm. There, in permanent ink glow a set of lilac irises with lashes lowered in lust. Even in the art, Catcher couldn't make them any less cold. Cody wants to pull the man from the past, even if it was less painful than the destruction of his legs. He would just torture himself more if he reveled in memories.

Night comes quickly, and the lights sink into darkness. Neither talks as the healers roll through, one reminding Cody that he is to leave tomorrow. He nods to them and tries to ignore them. Their azure glowing hands remind him too much of Barris for comfort.

In the darkest part of the night Catcher's voice breaks the silence.

"Cody?" his voice is surprisingly vulnerable.

"What is it Catcher," the clone swings his legs from his bed and pads over to his severely injured comrade. What he sees terrifies him more than he'd ever admit. The clone's eyes seem to glow in the near black darkness. The crystal glitters with sadness and desperation. A cold hand grips his wrist.

"Cody, please put me out of my misery. Just shoot me and do what the Kamonian's are going to do in a more painful way." Cody was horrified at the suggestion. He would never kill a brother, not even in mercy. That was always Rex, tough as nails and rather unorthodox. He was the calm one, the brains behind the operation. He made sure things got done. Catcher didn't even qualify for a mercy killing, that's why he was here at all.

"Catcher," he says softly. "I could never kill you. I could never kill a brother."

"That's what Bly said," Catcher turns his face away dropping his hands. "Then they took me away." His voice is so broken it twists at Cody's heart. "I don't want to be recycled Cody. I don't want to lose everything all over again." And Cody can think of no response, so he just stand there with his hand on his brothers shoulder as he watches him cry.

**I regret the shortness, and the space between the updates, and my laziness, and everything else that has me sitting her grumbling to myself about what on earth I am going to do with this fic, because I am hopelessly confused for how this is going to end. I don't want to do the classic ending, but I don't want to kill everyone off. I have too many choices in my life!**

**I thank all my dedicated readers and reviewers and lets all hope that the next chapter comes faster!**

**Aurora Lunar 0Love This0!**

**Katia Swift!**

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**My reviews dropped off last chapter… maybe that's why I took so long to update. So those who read this fic, and I know there are a lot of you, PLEASE PLEASE review otherwise you remain anonymous. **


	17. Chapter 17

"General," Cody salutes his partner in war and Kenobi nods back. Cody had said goodbye to Catcher earlier that morning, both of them rather somber at the threshold of their fates. It was just as well that Cody was leaving today, for Catcher was getting tossed in the Bacta again, more nero-therapy or something along those lines. Cody absently wondered if he would be in the tank next to Barris's as he and the rest of his team strode up the gang plank and onto the shuttle. Grim faced the twins in all but eye color had gripped writs in the mando'a style of which bother were quite familiar before proceeding on with their lives. Well Cody was. His heart hoped Catcher would as well as the helped him off the bed and powered on his braces, which seemed to have a mind near their own. Cody had been all suited up by that time, having earlier informed General Allie that it was indeed a malfunction in the system that had sent him to the mental ward, not a traitor or a jealous brother. That way, he saved Barris the hassle of dealing with it when she emerged and the worry of the healers and doctors on the med station that they had a traitor in their midst.

Cody's eyes stare out at the endless stars of space, and he finds himself wondering what else there is out there for a man like him. His last image of Catcher is imprinted on his eyelids, for with the frequency of blinking he sees him slowly making his way down the sterile hall, crutches gripping the waxed plastic as he painstakingly puts one leg in front of the other, two doctors hovering around him like vultures over a battle field, ready to swoop in at any moment and assess the carnage. Through all this Catcher holds his head high, though he does not smile, Cody see's the strength that lives in his eyes.

How he hopes it lives in his own. Those thoughts are reflected back at him by the endless stars, the endless systems with infinity of life forms. There had to be a life out there for him too. Right? Cody found his eyes straying back to the medical center. That's when he realized his life was much closer than it first seemed. It was floating in hibernation back on the med center, about to be transferred to Courascant. She had straight purple hair and 501st colored eyes, and hopefully a smile drifting on her face. Cody's fingers inadvertently traced her face on the breast plate that rested above her tattoo and his heart.

Cody was jerked from his reprieve by a sharp crackle in his helmet.

"Commander Cody, join me on the bridge once we reach the Resolute. Anakin will be there as well, and we will begin discussing our plan of attack, and how we are going to break in to the most impenetrable fortress in the galaxy." Cody smiles in the safety of his bucket, glad to have something to get his mind off of what was happening back on the med station. Actually, the mere sight of the battle cruiser nearly brought tears to his eyes. How he had missed her in his time being drowned in the poisonous scent of antiseptic and smothered by the overbearing doctors.

He was returning to the only true home he'd ever known.

Cody walked through the halls to the bridge right beside General Kenobi, exactly where he was supposed to be. Also, he couldn't seem to keep a goofy grin off his face. It was especially hard when his brother's kept saying things like 'I'm glad to see you back Commander' and 'Looking alive sir,' and 'Happy you're looking well Commander Cody.' After each one Kenobi's small smile grew a little for his officer. His brother's really looked up to him, and he didn't seem to ever see that in person. It was good for Cody to view it for himself.

By the time they reached the bridge, Kenobi's smile was almost as big as Cody's.

"What's gotten into you master?" Anakin quipped with a small smirk. "Please tell me they didn't dope you up back on the Medical station. I can't take you when you're more reckless than me,"

"Now, let's not exaggerate. The only person who could possibly be more reckless than you is your Padawan." Anakin frowned at this, having been effectively shut down by the negotiator. Cody laughed from the safety of his helmet. At that moment Rex arrived on the scene.

"Good morning General's, Commander," he nodded, all formal on the outside. In the secret world of Clone inter-helmet communication, he was anything but. "Did you have a nice time at the spa Cody? Because while you were gone I had to save your general from being shoved off a cliff in a tribal sacrifice. And I thought Skywalker was a handful. At least he knows when to chop someone's head off. Kenobi just talks and talks and talks until he can't draw his lightsaber anymore because all the people he was negotiating with have blasters pointed at his head." Coming from anyone else Cody probably would have sentenced them to scrub the entire outer shell of the Resolute. With a Q-tip. But from Rex, it was just everyday sparring.

"Shut it di'kut. May I remind you of how many times your General has crashed expensive ships. Now, let's listen and try not to get killed in the nearing battle. " There was no reply to that. Anakin had crashed more ships than Rex could count on his fingers, toes, and all the components of his twin hand guns combined.

The group planned as two cruisers rambled through hyperspace. The first, the one without the Generals and commanders, broke off midflight. The Resolute was heading back to Courasant for something Anakin would not tell them about. The fact it was Anakin's idea had shivers running up his spine. His ideas never went well. Sometimes they worked, but still

Cody and his five chosen troopers along with Rex and his chosen men joined Anakin and Obi-wan on a deck of the Jedi Temple he had never been to before. Well, he really hadn't been to many of the levels of the massive structure but he had definitely not been to this one. Why on Courascant would the Jedi have a carbonite freezer just lying around?

He was about to find out.

"Anakin, this is your idea?" his general asked and flashed a glance at his former Padawan.

"Yes master," Anakin said with a sniff and turned toward the warthog like creature that tottered around the mechanisms. Cody froze up when two and two clicked together.

"Uh, Sir?" He asked Kenobi once Anakin was out of ear shot. "We're not being frozen, are we?" he asked and fiddled nervously with his helmet. Obi-wan sighed and dropped his hand from where it was stroking his beard. He tried to form a small smile but it came as more of a grimace.

"I'm sorry to say we are commander," his voice was quiet so Anakin would not hear. Cody gulped and followed his superior and mentor towards the unknown.

Welcome home, Commander.

Barris was getting out today, a month ahead of schedule. Her healing went surprisingly fast, for once something good was happening to Cody. Well, not really something good, he was going to miss her first steps. The only way he would have been there was if he had somehow managed to injure himself again. He had seriously considered that option, but he had a feeling Barris would frown upon it. The last thing he wanted her doing was frowning, so he had kept himself healthy. Instead, he promised to video call her through the holo net. Force he missed her, he missed her as one might long for an arm of leg. No, he decided, something more important. Maybe his lung or his heart. He was trying to avoid clichés but there seemed to be no way around it. He missed her like she was his heart.

He smiled a little at the thought, whistling a little as he shaved. He had let his appearance go a smidge, but he did not want her to notice. To counteract this he had spent the last ten minutes preening. He had gotten some well-deserved catcalls, but they were well meant. Even Rex, who dragged Ahsoka over to right in front of his mirror just to kiss her sweetly and rub it in. Cody had chucked his razor at him and Ahsoka had punched his chest (more to the pain of her hand than Rex's skin, sadly) but Cody could not seem to rub that ridiculous grin off his brother's face.

Cody let his mind wander freely. He wondered when was the last time his face, graced by an appeal-depreciating grin, had seemed so happy. A long time, he thought and frowned at his own glowering face. Too long. He now had frown lines instead of laugh lines, and though his muscle mass had stayed roughly the same, he had lost what very little softness that remained on his body. He was as hard as dura-steel, literally and figuratively. Oh, he laughed in front of his brothers, smiled at their weak jokes and rare attempts on women, but when he lay on his bunk and stared at the one above him, his thoughts were no longer good. The promise not to pine over Barris had failed miserably. He had done just that.

Two deep eyes stare back at him from the mirror. They used to change color. Now, they were just endless gray.

Cody sighs and stands, rubbing his back and picking up his organizer. Being a commander had it perquisites, even if it did not include five star hotels and foot rubs by twi'leck dancers. So this is what his thoughts had come to. Back aches and foot rubs. Just move him into an old age home and stamp decommissioned on his forehead. What a cruel joke. He would be dead if he were decommissioned.

"Barris?" he questioned in a hushed voice. It was dark on the other side of the screen. "Barris?"

"Cody," came the soft reply. The man in question nearly fell off his bunk with the pleasure of hearing the voice say that single word. He feared that he had forgotten what her voice had sounded like. He had not, but time had dulled the memory of its luster. "Oh Cody, I've missed you," Barris continued. He chuckled softly as the pixels adjusted on the screen, lightening her portrait. She was just as beautiful when bacta still streaked her skin.

"How could you miss me? You only remember twenty minutes of our separation," Originally his tone was to be light hearted, but it came out sadder than he meant. Internally he cursed, but externally he forced a small smile.

"Even those minutes are painful," she says in a cheerier tone than he managed. Gentle green hands touch where he imagines his face to be on her equally dark screen. Both of them are in twilight rooms, gray really the only color visible. Barris pixilates as she moves away from the screen, and then she comes into focus again. Her deep eyes seem to glow faintly in the darkness. Cody feels a tad insignificant, all the power she possesses, and him just a clone. But he will not bring the mood down now by discussing such things. Now is time for rejoicing, if rather quietly, within their private quarters.

"I've missed you too. More than you can imagine. Everyday…" he feels himself becoming choked up. This was not the reunion he had imagined. "So many brothers of mine have gone into the bacta… and…" he swallows, just the thought making him nauseous. "And never come back out."

"Oh," Barris says, looking down at where her hands are most likely folded neatly in her lap. "Oh." The silence that stretches before them is treacherous. If she were hear, Cody would just kiss her. But she's not here. She is all the way across the galaxy. Ever her hologram is not here because the organizers do not have that function.

"I wish I could kiss you," he says softly. Coming from Rex, it would have been a little insulting, because it would mean all he wanted to do with you was sexual things. But Barris knew that coming from Cody, it was sweet and meaning full.

"I do to," she replied, and her heart thrummed at the smile that lit up his face, his eyes glittering brown for a moment. It was the truth too. She did want to kiss him. She wanted to hold him and comfort him for all the hardships he had endured in her absence. They were obvious on his face, the new lines like letters typed plain on a page. The eyes she had fallen in love with were more wary, the curve of his lip reserved. Even as his jaw jutted in defiance, the fade in his tattoos spoke of ware.

Cody was sick and she could not fix it.

That is when she decided it. The next time she and Cody were alone, they were going to make love. Barris regretted her move to push him away. Now, she wanted to be selfish, just once in her life. The attachment rule had lost its luster and strength, just a rusty fence with a wide-open gate.

"Cody, I have something to ask of you," Barris said and leaned in toward the camera. "The next time we have the chance, the next time we are alone, I want to do it. I want to go all the way with you," she was dancing around the words, but it would be too difficult to spit them right out.

"But I can get you pregnant!" Cody hissed and glanced around.

"It would be difficult to do so, but not impossible I agree. I'll take the necessary precautions," Cody saw the shimmer of desperation in her eyes. The injury had changed her. She was not as straight forward as she used to be, no more narrow Jedi mind. He could see she wanted to live now. He felt the same thing inside him.

"I want to make love Barris," Cody was never one for dancing around the topic. Now he looked down, and for a moment, Barris saw the innocent boy beaten down by blaster fire and corpses of loved ones. "I want to make it perfect, but I don't know how."

"Then we will learn together, won't we?" she said softly and they met eyes.

"I love you Barris."

"I love you Cody."

**I AM SO SORRY I TOOK SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LONG! The writers block was killing me so I gave in and sped time wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy up. Blamo Barris is gone, Blamo she's back again! YAY! Haha ignore my ramblings. I need to post this right now so I don't have time to thank all of my EPIC REVIEWERS! And readers who hopefully haven't lost faith in me with my sad lack of inspiration**

**I LOVE MY READERS AND REVIEWERS! 3333333333333**

**(I even took the effort to make a bunch of separate hearts)**


	18. Chapter 18

It was three days after their last conversation. Barris had taken her first steps in physical therapy today, and she was thrilled. Her entire being glowed with happiness. Cody had been in battle for the past two days so they had been unable to talk, but the holo said they had won. She didn't really care about them winning the battle, just that Cody had survived. She had checked the list of notable casualties every five minutes until the doctor had taken her organizer away from her, saying it caused her too much stress. It took all her will power not to manipulate his mind into giving it back to her.

Cody's designated serial number (she hated that term but lacked another name to call it by) had never made the list, and that was all that mattered. So three wonderful things had happened today. They had won a significant battle, Cody had not been injured or worse (which she would not think about), and she had taken her first steps.

"Commander Offee," said the doctor who had been assigned to her. She smiled at the clone whose face was smooth from internal work rather than the harsh life of battling.

"Good Evening Jinx," she trilled. He smiled back, finally losing some of the formality he strained to retain when around her. She had asked him to call her Barris, but he had refused. "What brings you here at this time of night?" she hoped to hide the sheepishness in her voice. At the sound of him entering, she had quickly slipped the organizer under her pillow and feigned a natural position.

"I am here to check up on you, as I do every night?" he seemed confused by her interrogation, for he had done this for the entire time she had been awake.

"Oh, of course!" she said and laughed sweetly, making sure her organizer was tucked neatly away, perfectly hidden. Jinx raised an eyebrow and said nothing, poking and prodding her, making her wiggle her toes and bend her leg impossibly slowly. He checked her pupils for remnants of shock. He pulled away and nodded, smiling so big Barris immediately knew something was up. She raised an eyebrow as he shouted,

"Ok, come in!" The door swished open and Barris turned, and her eyes nearly fell out of her head. Her heart spiked and the monitor beeped a warning, but that did not matter. Standing in the door, dirty, disheveled, banged up, and yellow paint chipped off even more than before, was a clone. A helmet was held under one arm, and two brown eyes were lit up in a spectacular grin.

If you ask her today she will not know how she did it, but Barris threw herself off the bed and _ran_ to the trooper, throwing her arms around his neck and nearly tossing him to the floor. She buried her nose in his neck as rough hands stroked her hair as she cried tears of joy, his body supporting her.

"Cody."

**this is it guys. i'm sorry for not being able to end it better, but this is all i've got left. the whole story has dried up on me, but cody and barris did get back together in the end. you can image what comes next, dream about it for me maybe? i love you all for reading this monster of a fic, and reviewing all the way through. you guys are the best readers an author could have. **

**thank you so much for supporting me, **

**nat13cat**


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